You want ultimate power, like real power?
You start lifting others up and not pushing them down.
You lift your spouse up.
You stop minimizing other people.
You start saying, "You know what, real power,
"true human power is giving others love and validation
"without needing it back."
I think one of the greatest acts of human courage is
to open up yourself to the world,
demonstrate exactly who you are,
do exactly what you desire of life
without the need of power, without the need
of validation or love, doing it for the sake of doing it,
for the journey, not the outcome.
That's extraordinary power.
The most extraordinary powerful person
I've met in my entire life was the Dalai Lama.
I've been blessed to spend time with him twice
now in my life.
And I'll tell you, I've never met someone more powerful.
His grace and his energy is amazing.
Whether you believe in Buddhism or not,
he says his religion is kindness.
That's his religion.
And it's true.
I've seen in very very very volatile situations
in his past and his history where he could,
he just didn't.
And by holding that space of compassion,
kindness, mindfulness, he was unshakably powerful.
Unshakably powerful.
One of the most respected human figures alive today
and never tries to exert power over others.
Because where he grew up, and in his history,
when he was ousted from his country,
the powerful country at the time, China, was pushing
at his country and trying to take over that country.
And so he grew up with overt uses of power.
And people often when they grew up or see
or sense overt uses of power, they either choose to use it
and try to get it and take it or they recognize that
those who try to demonstrate power
actually are lacking in it because they need it.
How many follow?
Those who need that power over other people are
often the weakest of the lot.
It doesn't mean that they don't do bad things
or take over other people.
But true genuine personal power,
genuine personal power is the ability
to consciously choose one's own aims,
one's own attitude, one's own actions.
That's true power.
When I can choose and no matter the chaos,
I can choose a positive attitude.
No matter the chaos, I can choose what I want
no matter the situation.
I can choose my next action.
That's personal power.
The ability to will yourself into thinking,
feeling, doing something, that's real personal power.
And when you can do it with a positive bend towards humans,
towards others, then you're a leader.
When you can mobilize the self
to give more goodness back to the world,
you got power.
I think being yourself and being your best self is
the greatest personal power ever.
And we evaluate ourselves on that.
We ask ourselves, "Am I taking control of my life
"or am I not?"
Am I living the life I imagine for myself or am I not?
Because when I'm not, then this frame makes us feel bad,
guilty, sad, because aren't in psychology terms,
we aren't in a place of agency.
Meaning you're the agent, the controlling agent
of your life, right.
Somebody else is.
If you have a low level of agency in your life,
it means you have a low level of personal power or control.
A high level means you take command.
It means you're owning your reality
and you're responsible.
You're making yourself accountable and responsible
for your own decisions in life.
You want to see this, have this, feel it?
Then demonstrate it based on who you are.
Be yourself and keep yourself accountable
to positive emotions, thoughts, and actions,
and you'll feel like you have it.
Like I feel an extraordinary amount
of personal control in my life
even when I've been bankrupt.
Even when I was completely challenged
in my first business.
I left corporate America.
I started writing, started doing seminars,
and I had no idea what I was doing.
I mean there wasn't an expert's academy back then,
no place you went to learn all this.
It was just like you could go to a seminar over there
or something over here or something over there.
I had no idea what I was doing at all.
So I quickly went broke.
But during that time, I didn't lose that agency,
that part of like this is on me.
I can control my thoughts, my feelings, my behaviors,
to improve to get to this next level
and that changed everything.
Thanks for watching.
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