Getting a vagina seems like a scary task, and it makes sense: it's a major surgery
that's rarely ever discussed with any sort of detail or accuracy.
Even if you're getting it next week, you might have no idea what to expect.
And honestly?
Neither did I. I got my vaginoplasty a year and a half ago, and in that time I've realized
that there's a ton of really important stuff about it that no one ever tells you.
I'm here to clear all that up, though!
That's me, hi, my name's Stacy, my pronouns are they/them.
I'm a real life trans person, and what follows is a list of pretty much everything I've
learned since May 2017 through living through it myself and through talking to other people
who've had this surgery.
This is 101 tips, tricks, and things to expect from vaginoplasty.
Alright, number one!
Well, actually, before we even get started, you have to go find a surgeon and get on a
waitlist, which are usually over a year long, but, y'know, the sooner the better, so hop to!
Alright, uh, 1.
Number one!
Let's talk about PRE-OP STUFF: Insurance companies are the devil.
Never, ever, ever stop fighting, and take it as high up as you can.
2.
Your surgeon will want you to get some laser hair removal done on your nethers before surgery,
so make sure there's ample time for you to do that, and ask them for their diagram!
3.
You'll need to have a plan for work.
If you have a sit-down job, it'll be more painful coming back than if you have a stand-up
job.
4.
If you have tattoos and piercings like I do, you know that they teach you how to deal with
pain, but if you don't, then now's a good time to learn how to meditate through pain,
cause 5.
This'll probably be the worst pain you'll ever experience in your entire life, but all
you have to do is get through the first day and you'll be good.
6.
You will need some friends and family to rely on over the course of this surgery and its
recovery process, cause, y'know, there's a lot of stuff you're not gonna be able
to do, and you're gonna need someone to take care of you.
Some surgery centers actually require that you give them their name and number so that
they know for sure that you have someone to take care of you outside of the hospital.
7.
2-4 weeks prior to the surgery, you'll have to stop taking estrogen, cause, y'know,
taking estrogen orally can cause major blood clots, but it's not as bad as it seems!
Yeah, it'll feel kinda--kinda crappy, but there's a vagina at the end of the tunnel.
8.
Sleep will be vital to your recovery, so go easy on the chocolate, tea, coffee, and soda
in the days leading up to and following V-Day.
9.
Also, you're gonna have to sleep on your back for, like, a week.
So, y'know, (sharp inhale) try and get in the habit if you can.
10.
Contrary to popular belief, the worst part of this surgery is not the pain.
It's the fact that you can't masturbate for three months.
11.
You will need to do bowel prep on the day before surgery--make sure to stay home on
that day.
(chuckles) 12.
Make sure you bring some sort of cushioning device with you to the surgery; anything really
works as long as the middle's cut out.
You'll need it for the inevitable post-op wheelchair ride, and probably just for a month
after for regular sitting.
13.
Okay, anesthesia.
This is the one that's kinda scary, but it doesn't really have to be, cause it's
a really safe thing!
And it's really more of a non-event than an event.
Like, it feels like you stopped paying attention for a second and then when you perked up you
teleported to a new location and you just feel super groggy, so...I mean, I understand
that it's scary cause I went through it too, but I promise you'll be fine.
14.
Let's talk POST-OP: your vagina will probably come out looking like an over-inflated strawberry
birthday cake that a possum viciously dug through before passing out or getting bored,
OR a cross between a blowfish, a large, fleshy pecan, and a venus flytrap.
So, y'know, anything goes, but 15.
It'll look fine in a couple months.
16.
Remember that you are a badass.
This pain has nothing on you.
You gotta show it who's boss.
17.
Also, percocet gives you really wild dreams, so, y'know, keep a log of that to keep yourself
entertained.
18.
But make sure you have Benadryl on you at all times, cause otherwise you're gonna
be in for some really rough, itchy nights with those painkillers.
19.
Speaking of painkillers, never underestimate the power of distraction.
Your favorite TV show, video game, or group of friends can be a painkiller!
20.
Make sure you're getting 3 meals a day, cause your body needs fuel to recover!
Protein bars and meal replacement shakes also help.
21.
Blood is 51% water, so make sure you're staying hydrated.
This'll also prevent some problems with your catheter.
22.
Make sure you keep up your self-care for the first week or two, cause it's really easy
to lose that sense of autonomy that you usually have.
Like, go ahead and, like, trim your nails, and do up your eyebrows, and put on deodorant
every day even if you don't smell cause it--it'll just make you feel more normal!
23.
You might not be allowed to shower for a week after surgery, and you will be very, very,
very, very, VERY smelly.
But that's okay.
24.
You can always take a PTA shower in the sink and just wash your hair the same way.
Just as long as you don't get your dressings wet you can do whatever.
25.
Just make sure you're not getting a sponge or a loofah anywhere near your vagina, because
getting your sponge caught on one of your staples is like getting your soul sucked out
through your vagina.
Just use soapy hands instead.
26.
As soon as you're able to stand up for more than a few minutes at a time, go ahead and
brush your teeth.
27.
Temporary menopause: unless you get on estrogen, like, the DAY after surgery, which is probably
not gonna happen, this is gonna happen to you.
Get ready for a lot of hot flashes and night sweats, and keep a fan on you at all times.
28.
Ice is your best friend.
Just remember to double-bag it.
29.
You should probably also have a towel on your bed at all times centered on your crotch area,
especially when you start dilation.
30.
You're probably not gonna be able to pick stuff up off the floor for a while, and that's
okay, just rely on your friends.
31.
If you're tired of relying on your friends, then, y'know, use one of these.
32.
The constipation WILL be monumental.
Just make sure you're staying on track with your laxatives and you should be all good.
33.
If you can sit on the toilet with the lid AND the seat up, it'll transfer your weight
away from the surgical site and towards your hipbones, which'll make the whole process
a lot less painful.
34.
If you don't use wet wipes already...go ahead and start now.
35.
It'll take a little while for you to be able to differentiate your clit from your
urethra, and that's okay.
36.
People have been coming up with euphemisms for "vagina" for centuries, but you get
one that other people don't: "the surgical site!"
37.
Remember that your new vagina is a work of art created by a masterful sculptor out of
pretty much nothing, so, y'know, let it do its thing.
Let the paint dry.
Don't touch it!
38.
At least, not yet.
Give it, like, a month or two.
39.
Let's rewind a little bit and talk about your PACKING: your packing is the 1-2 rolls
of gauze that they're just gonna stick up your vagina at the end of the surgery to make
sure it keeps its shape and to soak up all that blood.
It's.
Really.
Gross.
It smells awful and it's just a big ball of blood and other icky stuff, BUT,
40.
Once it's removed, you will have your first and only period.
I would say enjoy it, but there's no way you're going to.
41.
I hope you're not attached to this pair of underwear.
Or this one.
Or that one.
Or that other one.
42.
But if you are, just, y'know, give it a little rinse with some hydrogen peroxide and
throw it in the wash, and it should be good as new!
43.
Make sure you're changing your pad two times daily.
Here's how you do it: save the wrapper when you unwrap it, have the short side oriented
forward,take the main backing off, stick it in the center of your underwear, and then
take the backing off the wings, secure those in, and wear it.
Then, once you're done, roll up the dirty pad like this, wrap it in the old wrapper,
and toss it.
44.
Try to get your pads wholesale if you can.
A month's worth of overnights and a month's worth of heavy flows should be good to start
out with, cause even after the blood stops there's still the discharge, which is
45.
Arguably grosser than the blood, because it's responsible for making your packing smell
like the way it does, so if you don't want your undies to smell like that, then keep
wearing pads!
46.
But don't worry, discharge is completely normal, and that little pocket there in your
undies is there for a reason.
And you'll settle into your regular quantity and odor of discharge within about 7 or 8
months.
47.
Until then, your discharge is liable to come in really gross clumps.
That's normal.
(chuckles) Unfortunate, but normal.
48.
After about 3 months, you should be able to graduate to pantyliners, which are SO MUCH
more comfortable than pads, dude!
49.
Anyways, once your packing's out, you'll be able to move around a lot more and you'll
be in a lot less pain, so once that happens make sure you're walking daily.
50.
You won't think muscle atrophy will happen to you, but it will.
It's kinda just a reality of this surgery.
You just gotta keep walking until you get your strength back.
51.
Once you quit narcotics, go ahead and quit any and all caffeine as well, cause it'll
take a little bit for your body to start making its own sleepy chemicals again.
52.
If you're flying home from whatever city you got your surgery in, which I hope you
are, airport wheelchairs are your best friend.
53.
And, of course, there is nothing like recovering in your own bed.
54.
Dilation: a necessary evil.
This is what keeps your vagina open for the healing process, but don't worry!
It becomes normal after a while, and in about a year you'll only have to dilate a few
times a week.
Until then you'll probably be dilating about 3 times a day for 10-20 minutes.
55.
If, however, it's been a month and you're still bleeding every time you dilate, probably
a sign that you need to start dilating more often!
Your surgeon's dilation schedule is not the word of god.
You CAN change it for your own needs.
56.
For the first month or so when you're dilating, use a mirror so you can see what's going
on.
For the love of god, do NOT stick it in your urethra.
That's this part right here.
You wanna stick it in the vaginal canal, which is this little thing right here!
You're gonna wanna use a descending motion when you're pushing in so that you go under
the pubic bone.
57.
Make sure to use lots of water-based lube, go slow, and go to the same depth each time
to save yourself some heartache.
(And vagina-ache.)
58.
If you encounter resistance when inserting your dilator, it might be due to a bad angle.
If you let go a little bit, the dilator will actually center itself magically!
It's a pretty cool trick.
59.
Once your dilator is in, hold it in with your calf.
It makes everything SO much easier.
Also, if you're not holding it in and you laugh at something really hard, your dilator
will shoot out of your body at 90MPH.
60.
Once you're done dilating, go ahead and use a wet wipe to get all the ick off the
dilator, and then wash it in soap and water.
61.
When sizing up your dilators, which you will do every 2-3 months, make sure you go really
slow and start it off with the previous size.
62.
Also, you will queef a lot when you do this.
It's HILARIOUS.
63.
PEEING: It will be messy and annoying.
Hydrate anyways.
You have plenty of time to develop muscle and control later on.
64.
I would hope that this is common knowledge, but make sure to wipe front to back unless
you wanna get a UTI. 65.
You know how usually when you go pee you have to, like, flex the muscle a little bit to
get the last little bit out at the end?
You won't have to do that anymore, cause your urethra is now 5 times shorter!
66.
Also, peeing might hurt to start out with once you get your catheter out, but that's
normal.
67.
If it continues to hurt and hurts a lot, you're having an increase in frequency of your urine
and a change in the appearance, you probably have a UTI!
That's okay though, antibiotics will take care of it.
68.
Also, there's this really cool drug that's sold over the counter called Azo, it turns
your pee orange and it numbs your urethra, so it's pretty useful.
69.
Infections of the urinary tract and yeast variety are common in the beginning.
Think of it as your initiation into vaginahood.
Be excited, then be in pain.
70.
In general, UTI's burn, yeast infections itch, and bacterial vaginosis smells.
71.
If you find you're getting recurrent bacterial vaginosis, this probably means that your vaginal
pH is really off.
Could be due to a couple things, but all this means is you need to acidify your vagina somehow.
And I mean, you can do it manually, using douching or boric acid suppositories, or you
can just get these little microscopic dudes to do it for you!
Instructions in the description.
72.
Also, if you have bacterial vaginosis, don't have sex.
It's not just cause it's, like, smelly and gross, but also cause it increases your
chance of getting an STI. 73.
If you're using antibiotics to take care of it, I recommend the topical form of the
antibiotic, and while you're using that, make sure to wear a pad so you don't get
all that nasty gel all over your undies, and take probiotics during your course of treatment.
74.
FURTHER RECOVERY: Leg-crossing is about to be 10 times more awesome, and it's also
the first position you should try when sitting without using a cushion, cause it allows you
to put all your weight on one of your legs!
75.
Sitting down will be one of the last major hurdles you'll have to overcome in your
recovery, and you will feel VERY normal afterwards.
76.
And don't worry, the smell goes away after a while.
77.
Kegel exercises are essential for incontinence, but can also improve your own sexual pleasure!
Instructions in the description.
78.
Phantom pains and itches will probably happen, but you can solve it with a mirror and a touch.
If you get a phantom scrotum itch, then just scratch your labia, cause that's what those
nerves turned into.
They're all still there.
79.
The only thing that'll take longer to heal than your clit is your labia.
Give them 6 to 8 months to stop being swollen, whiny pissbabies, then they'll be really
cute.
80.
Also it, like, takes a little bit of time to develop sensation in your labia, which
is kinda strange, but if you feel numb for the first couple weeks, then don't worry
about it.
81.
You know that feeling of your scrotum getting stuck to your thigh?
That'll still happen, except your scrotum is now your incredibly swollen labia.
82.
There is a very real possibility that getting turned on will cause you to be in pain for
at least maybe the first six weeks.
You're clit's healing.
Give it time.
It's an angsty teenager, it doesn't wanna get up.
83.
You will probably also become an angsty teenager after a while of not being able to tend to
certain urges, but if you're experiencing a lot of oversensitivity, it'll be gone
by the 6 month mark.
84.
Also, getting turned on and not having a swelling feeling in your nethers is probably the best
feeling in the observable universe.
85.
Having your first orgasm will take a while.
I mean, it's a completely new body part that you have to learn how to use.
You just gotta try everything!
And honestly, most of the sex toy industry is now catered towards you, so use that to
your advantage.
86.
Self-lubrication is the rule, not the exception.
If you get this surgery, more than likely you'll be able to get wet when you get turned
on.
87.
While you may not be able to reproduce anymore, you're still not immune to STI's, so always
use a barrier.
88.
That being said, you can have sex at the 3 month mark.
89.
"3 months" is synonymous with "fully healed", and it won't really feel like
it cause healing is a gradient, it's not an event.
90.
But the 3 month mark is a point after which you can pretty much enjoy any activity, barring
any pain.
You can swim, you can ride your bike, you can have sex, you can do whatever you want!
It's literally--it's...your vagina.
You can--you can do what you want.
You could even get it pierced!
Like, I got my labia pierced twice, and it barely hurts, and it looks super cool!
I mean, you have to stop dilating for a little bit, but--and really hear me when I say this--
91.
You do not have to dilate after the 3 month mark.
That is completely optional.
Everyone seems to think that you have to dilate for the rest of your life otherwise your vagina
will close up, and I mean, yeah, that's probably for the first 3 months, but after
that it's a complete myth, dude!
I am SO OVER people thinking that this is, like, a lifelong conscription, you know?
You don't if you don't want to.
If you wanna stick things in your vagina, like someone else's body part or, like,
a dildo or something, then yeah, you should probably dilate, but like, you don't have
to if you don't want to.
Your vagina will shrink down to a minimum width, but you can always get that back up
by using your fingers, and then starting off by the smallest dilator and then going up
and up and up, and...it's--your--your vagina is amazing, it's elastic!
It's like--(grunts) it's--it's a work of art, dude.
Ugh.
Anyways, 92.
GENERAL TIPS: This surgery is a crucible.
It's what you make of it.
And yeah, circumstances vary wildly, and you might run into some roadblocks that I never
did, but the thing is is that you have to see this as an enduringly positive experience,
otherwise you might not get through it.
93.
Lean on your friends.
I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have all my wonderful friends to lean on in
my times of trouble.
Special shout out to JJ, Mara, and Makalah for taking care of me while I was recovering.
94.
Patience has never been this virtuous.
For real, though, you'll have to do a lot of waiting around for stuff to happen, and
it's gonna suck, but all you gotta do is be patient and pass the time.
95.
Your new vagina exists solely for your own comfort and pleasure, and that is a very beautiful
thing!
96.
Also, some days you'll look down and you'll be like, "woah, dude, I have a vagina."
Cause it's just that cool!
97.
Every vagina is unique.
Too many people get lost in searching for aesthetic perfection and trying to figure
out which surgeon will create, like, this one very specific anatomical part, but honestly,
it doesn't really matter as much as you think it does.
Unless you're a sex worker, the only people in your life who will see your vagina will
probably just be your doctors and your sexual partners, and that's pretty much it.
No matter how your vagina comes out looking, you'll probably just feel thankful you have
one in general.
98.
People born with vaginas can have ugly vaginas.
People born with vaginas can have trouble self-lubricating.
They can have trouble reaching orgasm, they can have shallow vaginas.
Like, everyone's different.
No one's perfect.
Every.
Vagina.
Is.
Unique.
It doesn't matter whether it was created through DNA instructions or from a surgeon.
EVERY vagina is unique.
99.
This surgery is not a cure-all.
If you had self-image issues going into this surgery, you will probably still have them
when you come out.
This surgery will not make you feel less alone.
It won't cure your anxiety or depression, but it will make you feel less dysphoric.
100.
It's easy to be scared of this whole thing.
I mean, it's major surgery on, like, a really important body part.
But honestly?
It takes courage to get to this point.
If you ask me, even coming out is courageous.
Yes, it may be necessary, as is this surgery, but I still see it as an act of courage.
(chuckles) Cause, you know, you did it!
You came out instead of lying down and wallowing away.
If you ask me, facing the world every day is a courageous act, transphobes be damned.
Even if you are scared, you still have to have courage.
And if you don't have anyone who believe in you, I believe in you!
I know you'll make it through in one piece.
I know you will be okay.
101.
And last, but not least, don't do it for anyone but yourself.
...wait.
Is it done?
Is that it?
Hey!
What's up?
It's Stacy!
Welcome to the post-video, where I talk about everything that I didn't get an opportunity
to in the first 15 minutes of this video.
Because I recorded the voiceover back in October, there are some things that I just didn't
think to put in until...well, like, now, pretty much.
Let's talk about complications, finding a surgeon, dilation, and a bunch of other
stuff!
But first, if you liked this video or just found it educational, or entertaining, or
helpful, or anything like that, please share it!
Cause there are SO many transfeminine people out there that need to know this information.
So many people, like ME, went through this surgery and had no idea what to expect at
the end and were very surprised by things that should not surprise us.
Also, if you're a surgeon or surgery center and would like to place this video on your
website, my paypal is RIGHT here.
Okay!
Things we didn't cover.
Not mentioning complications in a video like this would be irresponsible, SO, I need y'all
to know that if you're going to get this surgery, it is possible that you are going
to have some complications.
If you do have complications, it's likely that they will be minor, but major ones can
occur.
I'm talking things like loss of function, numbness, nerve damage, necrosis, asymmetry,
injury to the rectum or bladder, prolapse, need for revision surgeries, freaking fistulas.
All of these things can and have occurred, BUT the chance of having a major complication
are relatively low, AND if your surgeon is reputable, there is a slightly lower chance
that any of these thing will happen to you.
WHICH BRINGS US to our next point--vet your surgeons.
If you select a surgeon, make sure that you read their reviews, Google them, we live in
an age where information is readily available to us at our fingertips, and just, like--just
read about your surgeons, y'all.
Make sure you're going to someone who's good.
There are a lot of surgeons out there who claim to be able to do this surgery very competently
and really cannot.
So, y'know…
Also, results galleries for surgeons are very important to have!
If your surgeon is reluctant to show you any of their results, that should be a point of
suspicion.
Having a pornstar vag is not very important, but having a vagina that you feel connected
to and feels like an actual, real part of your body is very important.
Let's talk about methods.
We covered penile inversion in this video, and that's the only one I talk about, because,
well...it's the one that I got, and it's the one that everyone else got who I talked
to, and it's...really just the gold standard of vaginoplasty.
There are other methods that have their drawbacks and advantages.
Make sure you know which method your surgeon is using before you actually, y'know, get
into the surgery.
DILATION: the very big point of contention for a lot of people.
I said in the video that you don't have to dilate after the 3 month mark, which logically
makes sense because it's the point after which you're considered to be fully healed.
Some, albeit outdated, sources say that 6 months is the standard.
If you wanna play it safe and go for 6 months, it wouldn't really hurt!
You should, however, size up at least once no matter what you do, if for no other reason
than to explore your sexuality!
Cause, you know, you can put stuff in there.
Dilation has never actually been formally studied to this degree.
There haven't been any actual, scientific, long-term studies on what happens if you don't
dilate, but if you take my experience and the experience of all the other people I've
talked to, it doesn't really matter!
Dilation does not appear to be essential after 3--to 6--months.
The truth is, once again, that vaginas are elastic, and they can take a lot more than
you think they can.
But PLEASE, please, dilate for at least 3 months, size up at least once--don't screw
yourself, is what I'm saying.
The cool thing about dilation is that you can substitute penetrative sex with a roughly
dilator-sized and -shaped object, and, you know, you don't have to dilate.
Really all dilation does is make sure that your--the vagina stays open for the healing
process and makes sure that your pelvic floor muscles get used to actually having a chasm
in between them.
When you dilate, you don't move the dilator in and out, you just leave it there at full
depth.
And you will know when you hit full depth, trust me.
That being said, never leave a solid object inside your vagina for an extended period
of time--I'm talking 30+ minutes.
If your surgeon tells you to do anything of the sort or dilate overnight, you should probably
just not listen to them.
You should only expect to see that in, like, really severe cases of something going wrong
where you'd need to do that, but...yeah, it's--it's not good for you to leave stuff
in there.
Sizing up dilators does hurt.
It doesn't hurt nearly as much as the surgery, it's just, like...yeah, it'll be a little
bit sore.
But that sizing up pain will probably only last about a week.
Speaking of pain, YES, the pain is awful, BUT, as I said in the video, all you have
to do is make it through the first day, and really, like, once the second day comes around
you'll be like "oh, wow.
This is kind of manageable," because you'll remember what happened the previous day.
For me, the first day is the only day that I cried, and it literally made every single
other day pale in comparison when it comes to pain.
Also, like, painkillers exist.
And yeah, the pain will still be awful even with the painkillers on the first day, but,
you know, the really, really kick in on that second, third, fourth day.
Also, you come out of it with a SIIIICK pain tolerance!
Getting tattoos and piercings now is literally no biggie at all.
As far as scars go, you will have some scars that are just going along the labia majora,
but in my case at least, the labia majora actually do cover up those scars, so I haven't
actually physically seen them in, like, months.
I do have some circular scars on my inner thighs from where they sewed the packing into
my...inner thighs.
Um, but it's been a year and a half and they're pretty much almost skin color, so
they're very--they're--they're not very noticeable.
Lastly, this is a very Americentric video.
If you live in literally any other country, it--chances are, things are gonna be a little
bit different.
But the majority of what I said will still apply, it's just when it comes to finding
surgeons and, like, stuff with insurance--probably gonna be a little bit different.
I think in the UK they actually give you, like radically different sized dilators than
they do in the US?
But, um, if you know anything about that, just message me and I'll put it in, like,
a pinned comment or something.
If you live in other countries, you should still, of course, vet your surgeons.
Um...I think that's it.
Follow me on my main Twitter if you wanna look at really bad jokes and linguistic puns,
and bloopers from all my videos.
I did keep a pretty thorough log of what recovery was like on my surgery Twitter, and...it's
pretty cool!
If you read it from the beginning, a lot of people have found that to be very useful.
But yeah!
That pretty much does it for this video, and I can't believe we are at the end of this
gigantic freaking video.
This is the biggest video I've ever produced, and I'm… (sharp inhale) I'm just--I'm
really proud of myself.
So...thank you so much for watching all the way to this point.
Like, holy crap, wow.
I'd also like to thank all my helpers who actually, like, made this possible.
I literally could not have done it without them.
JJ, who did the orange tattoo, helped me film the very first, like, segment for this whole
thing.
Thank you to Melanie and Amethyst for their hands, faces, and all of their wonderful help;
Noah, for letting me borrow their Gameboy and for doing that speed paint that you saw
in number...38, I think?
Allison, for letting me borrow their extremely graphic fuchsia-colored dildo that I had to
pixelate out; Rachel, for helping me out on all the dilation parts; Sonya, for helping
me on the percussion for the soundtrack; Lyndsay, for their enormous help on filming, moral
support, bringing me food, and just, like, being a kickass friend!
To my mom for making a bunch of the props and helping me with filming; and, of course,
everyone at Corpus Arts who helped make this event a reality, because...wow, I literally
would not have done this without a deadline, but with their help I was able to make it
happen, so just know that I love each and every single one of you.
So yeah!
That about does it.
If y'all have any questions or anything just leave 'em in the comments below and
I will try my best to get to them, and hopefully it'll be good to have, like, a public record
of all these questions and answers, cause all I wanna do is help y'all get as much
knowledge about this as possible.
But yeah, I hope y'all have a great rest of your day and I'll see you next time.
Bye!!
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