- In our lives,
especially when we're being reactive.
Information comes in, right?
We're in advance, we're paying attention
to how people treat us,
we're studying something, we're trying to learn something.
And we're just going about our regular day,
information is coming in.
How people perceive us, the cause and effect of events.
Things are just happening.
Information comes into the brain.
From that point the information
immediately goes into interpretation.
And what this usually means is,
interpretation in the fast reactive thing is safe, unsafe.
Good, bad.
Like it, don't like it.
Recognize it, don't recognize it.
Been there done that, unfamiliar, familiar.
Certain, uncertain.
Fear, safe.
All these things start triggering,
it's pretty unconscious and it's pretty fast.
Our biases come into play.
It's just that speed spontaneous reactive part of us.
And that's not always bad,
sometimes it can be good.
Right, sometimes it can be good.
Interpretation can be that event, that's good for me,
or that event that's bad for me.
But usually it's like a snap judgment.
Think about that.
Most when we're talking about an unconscious level,
it's like a snap judgment, automatic.
Like you like her, don't like her.
Feel safe, don't feel safe.
It's very fast.
Then the next level,
and this is not always linear of course
because your brain is not.
Left-brain, right-brain kind of methodology.
Your brain is more of a spider web of interconnectedness.
That is something we still don't understand, okay.
You can study everything in neuroscience
and you might learn something about this lobe
or that that cortex region,
but then only to find out that later on
a year later like well actually it seems like
it's also communicating over here.
It's a spider web unbelievable intelligence it's happening.
That and everything can be millisecond,
hundreds of milliseconds of transitions
between neural networks.
It's unbelievably fast, unbelievable capable.
So this is just for our understanding.
It's not necessarily real-world linear like this,
but what tends to happen is as information comes in,
good bad, we also then move it to
a level of, well what does this mean to me?
Identity.
What does this mean to me?
What is this either mean to me
or what does this say about me?
How does this apply to me?
And if we're not conscious here
this can be really troublesome.
Some of you discovered that yesterday I bet
when you released a few things.
Sometimes we have these events in our life
that we take on and we just assumed
it meant something about us.
And we didn't realize no that's more of a statement
about them than is about us, right?
Sometimes when you're hurt or someone was rude to you
it had nothing to do with you.
Raise your hand if you follow.
Had nothing to do with you but if you're not careful,
you could say mean person, unsafe means I'm bad child.
Rude behavior, uncertain about this,
I must not belong.
Terrible situation, I feel bad.
I can never be safe again.
How many follow how this happens.
This is why we have to be very, very, very observational
of our own thoughts and feelings
because how these things get labeled
can really change our lives forever.
Can really change our lives forever.
From here once we've kind of looked
through that lens and again this can be unconsciousness
and super speedy,
but once we kind of information comes in,
good, bad here's what it means to me.
We tend to then from there
set an intention.
Which means, so what do I want to do with this information.
Intention, what's my next action from this?
Or what am I gonna do in the future because of this.
And intentions can be very unhealthy too.
Intentions can be like we talked about yesterday,
sometimes if this is wired wrong
or this goes in a way that doesn't support us.
Sometimes that intention is, I'm gonna protect myself.
I am never going to share who I am
because that one person or those people hurt my feelings,
or did that thing, and all of a sudden our intentions
become completely self protective.
I talked about yesterday how people button up,
or they put on the face mask
or they build up the walls to keep out the bad guys.
And then who can't get in, the good guys.
Like I said yesterday, sometimes in our own self-protection,
we block out the very thing that we so desperately desire.
Connection.
But a lot of people's intention has been
throughout their lives because they weren't observing
their thoughts became completely tilted towards safety.
So they think.
There's a big difference between wanting to be safe
and operating from fear.
How many follow?
Is a very big difference,
sometimes as we tell ourselves stories.
"Well I'm just protecting myself," no you're scared,
and it's two different things right?
And we just have to be careful about where our intention is
'cause sometimes not all intentions are good.
In the self-help industry you often say,
"Well you have to have intention,"
I'm like, "Just know you have to have positive
"conscious intention," it's different.
Intention can be a,
mass murders also have intention.
(laughter)
And I don't like their intention.
So intention in itself is not always positive.
Some of your intentions have hurt you so bad.
Intention to protect when you're not at risk.
Intention to prove your point
while you're at the same time wrecking your relationship.
Intention to stand your ground and be firm and solid
at the cost of allowing your team
to collaborate and have fun at work.
So we have to look at our intentions
just like how we observe our interpretations
or our identity, it's really important.
Because from those intentions of course flow all of,
our initiative.
Oh my God I spelled that right.
I-N-I-T...
is that right?
- [Audience] Yes.
- Looks funny, okay.
That's the big word from Montana.
(laughter)
And this initiative is now what do you really
go do in the world?
What do you really go do?
How are you really showing up?
What goals are you going after?
Like yesterday we talked about the spark of motivation
is ambition and expectancy.
Well guess what happens when sometimes your initiative
is too small for you.
Your ambition the things you're chasing is so small.
I'd work with people all the time I go,
"You're such...
"I have to be honest I feel like after knowing you
"for a while you're a much more powerful woman
"than what you just said to me."
She go, "What?"
I said, "Well from everything you shared with me
"and everything you've been through,
"I mean don't you deserve at this stage of your life
"to dream a little bigger than that?
"I mean you've been through so much."
It's like I tease to my coaches the other day,
I said, "What more permission do you possibly need?
"I mean what more indications does the universe give to you
"that you should be joyous at this stage of your life."
That you deserve to chase good things at your life.
That this is your time to start making
new things happen again.
That this is the time to enjoy life.
Can I get an amen on a Friday!
- [Audience] Amen. (cheers)
- It's like you've done enough.
Turn the person left, right, shake them say,
"You've done enough!"
- [Audience] You've done enough.
- Often what ends up happening,
and this is really good for parents to learn this, okay.
So if you're a parent really dial in for a minute.
If you're a leader really dial in for it.
Will benefit everybody but those two groups.
Really dial in for a second.
Sometimes you're gonna have people, good people.
You know like positive attitude, smart people.
Like people you like and even respect.
And their initiative at your workplace
or in school is so low it frustrates you.
It's a good kid, they don't do their homework.
It's a good person who had the resume
and is smart but they're not taking initiative at work.
So what do you gotta do?
You gotta help work backwards.
You gotta help understand,
I wonder what's happening with that kid?
From top to bottom.
Again this doesn't mean this is truly linear.
But as a metaphor as a way,
of the framework of understanding things.
Listen sometimes even you're not taking enough action
Monday to Friday because something happened on Tuesday
of last week that you looked at and said,
"Oh this means, this project is gonna fail.
"I'm gonna be a failure again.
"So why should I even go out and try.
"So Netflix is looking good right now."
(laughter)
Once you understand this, right?
Who likes his framework?
Say that's me?
- [Audience] That's me.
- Once you understand this, you can reverse
psychology yourself a little bit.
Sometimes I'll be sitting there I'm like,
"Why am I not taking more action this week?
"Okay let me think about it.
"Well what was my intention this week?
"Oh I forgot to have one, bad move number one."
(laughter)
Or, "I had some good intentions, I had some good goals
"but you know what, I'm kind of doubting myself this week?
"What's up with that?
"I wonder what happened that led me to doubt myself."
And if you can use this as a tool in coaching your kids
or coaching your clients or your team,
it can really shape things.
Because most people don't know
where their initiative comes from.
They don't know and it's important for you all in this room.
Because I want -- my desperate desire for you
is when you leave these doors,
is to go out make such a big difference
in the world and take such big bold moves.
For whatever your next going to do.
To be bold at it.
To really go for, to take initiative
that would originally scare you.
Big initiative.
But you can make that initiative if your intention
is to serve others and to live out your dreams.
It's true?
- [Audience] Yes.
- You can take that bold action if you say,
"I'm here, I'm ready I deserve this, I am willing
"to deal with the hardships because
"I have the confidence in my ability to figure things out.
"Yes I know that things are gonna be hard.
"It's gonna be difficult information is gonna come in
"that's gonna say it's not nice,
"but you know what I'm gonna do along that path
"I'm gonna honor that struggle.
"I'm gonna bring the...
- [Audience] Joy.
- So let's go.
And that's a very different way of looking at life.
It's being aware of how our unconscious
is sort of putting this little
framework together in our mind
that's shaping our own initiative.
Shaping our own identity.
Shaping how we're doing things.
It's so important, but the beauty of knowing
something like this, is you can also rewire it.
You can also change it in such a way
that almost everything on here works for you
and is sourced from your heart.
So that come hell or high water, good or bad days
coming from a position in which you are grounded
and sure and intention of who you are,
that the world can't throw you off no more.
Thanks for watching.
Make sure you subscribe to my new podcast, The Brendan Show.
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And it's the exclusive place where I share my thoughts
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About my advice for you as you seek to live
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It's called The Brendan show and it's available anywhere
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So make sure you subscribe.
And if you're ready to take your life
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It's called High Performance Habits.
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