- Hey, everybody!
Happy New Year! - Happy New Year!
- We're super pumped to see you.
I'm Brendon.
That's-- - Denise.
- And we are super excited for you
to join us today on Transformation Week.
First, it's January 1st, 2019 as we are filming this.
And we know you are super excited about this year.
What are you most excited about this year?
- Well, I think sunshine and some crazy,
exciting, wonderful adventures.
- Okay, I'm the same. (laughs)
We are filming this right now in Puerto Rico.
If you haven't heard the news,
we moved and we're super pumped.
And you can see it's a very, very beautiful place.
Now listen, I previously recorded a training
for Transformation Week day one.
It's all about get clarity.
How do you get more clear about who you are
and what you want in your life?
That's the training.
Now I shot that in the studio,
because when we moved down here,
we literally didn't know if I was gonna have a studio.
We didn't know if my camera gear would be here.
We didn't know how we were gonna teach
a long-format training like I have,
so I'm gonna cut to the studio right now
where I'm gonna teach you how to have
an extraordinary 2019 with three different frameworks
that will help you find some clarity for your year.
But I wanted you to see us, feel us.
We're on the journey of transformation ourselves.
This was a big move, right?
- Very big move.
We're excited to share it with you.
- Yeah, we're very excited.
If you don't yet subscribe to The Brendon Show,
please subscribe to it because Denise
is my very first interviewee of all time.
- No pressure. (laughs) - No pressure.
That will be coming out in the next couple days
on The Brendon Show, so make sure you subscribe there too.
With that, please enjoy this Transformation Week
day one training on getting clarity for 2019.
Happy New Year! - Happy New Year.
- Hey, everybody!
Happy New Year!
It's Brendon Burchard and I'm excited
to welcome you to Transformation Week.
For the next seven days, I'm gonna send you
a brand new training video every single day
where we're really going to help you
start this new year in a more focused,
confident, and productive place.
It's a great honor to be with you here
on your New Year, if that's when your watching this.
I cannot wait for you to get this training.
A lot of people have high ambitions
for these next 12 months,
but they really don't know where to start,
or they have really, really good plans,
but they don't feel good and they're not ready
for the demands of what's coming in 2019.
I think you're gonna find Transformation Week
is really going to support you in your long-term growth,
but also in the next seven days,
you're gonna find a new vitalization about life.
So I'm really excited that you're here.
In a moment, I'm gonna step back
and teach you three different frameworks
for the theme of today.
Transformation week begins with getting clarity.
If you don't have clarity, you can't change.
You can't grow, right?
No clarity, no goals.
No goals, no growth.
It just ties together.
So my job here today is to remind you
that only two things are gonna change in your life in 2019.
Either something new is gonna come into your life,
something new and positive.
A new person, a lottery, or something.
Or something new is gonna come from within.
And what I'm gonna share with you
over these next seven days,
sometimes it might be like oh yeah.
I know that Brendon, but I'm not applying that.
Or you know, I haven't thought of it
that way before, and let me journal about that.
I'm not gonna do a casual, seven-day challenge with you.
We're gonna go deep.
If you've never been in my community before,
I wanna share something with you.
I've had the blessing of writing six books.
I've spent 20 years studying neuroscience,
positive psychology, and high performance studies
to really understand how do you develop expertise?
I'm not the guy you go to for just hope or memes.
I've never posted a meme.
My job is to be the advanced guy.
My job is to be the tactical guy.
You come to me for high performance work,
which is how do I really change my mindset
and develop better behaviors and more self-discipline
to change the world in the way that I want to.
I want you to really step into command of your life in 2019.
And so I'm gonna push you.
I'm gonna bug ya.
I'm gonna be a little bit strong
throughout these transformation days together,
because I wanna see you change your life.
I wanna see you out there
on social media, #TransformationWeek.
I want you, as a new member of this HPX community,
to really get a tremendous amount of value from this.
So I'm gonna tell you some simple things to do with that.
One, make the time today to watch this full video.
You can pause it right now and see it's a longer video,
'cause it's day one.
We have to get clarity.
Two, I wanted to make sure that you download
the worksheet down below this video,
'cause the worksheet is really an activity guide.
And there's gonna be prompts in there.
They're gonna help you get really clear
about your 2019, not just in the different parts
of your life, but also existentially.
Like where are you going?
What's it all about, man?
So we're gonna solve some of those things.
So I honor you being here.
If this is your first time interacting
with me or this new HPX Life brand,
HPX stands for the High Performance Experience.
It's what I believe every single person
wants to experience in their life,
the High Performance Experience.
It's that level where you are fully engaged with life,
that you're joyous and you're confident.
And you're moving in the direction
towards your dreams with real momentum.
Living the High Performance Experience to me
is what makes me feel happy, you know?
'Cause do you know any under-performers who are super happy?
(laughs) It's like when I'm performing at my best,
meaning I have high intention.
I'm present in the moment.
I'm in command of my thoughts, my beliefs, my feelings.
I'm taking charge of my day.
I'm making sure that I set boundaries,
that I move towards goals judiciously,
conscientiously, with real discipline
and real excitement for the day.
Man, that's the High Performance Experience,
and that's what I wanna gift to you.
And so I thank you all and I celebrate you.
You could be in a lot of different places today,
but today you chose to be part of Transformation Week.
You chose day one.
And that's the way I want you to look at this.
This is day one.
But this is day one of the rest of your life.
I'm gonna ask you questions in today's training,
when we step back to the flip chart.
I'm gonna teach you a primary aspiration theory
to help you identify different parts of your life.
And I really want you to watch this full video.
I promise it will deliver the goods,
even if it sometimes gets philosophical or academic.
I want you to learn to think
in different categories of your life.
I want you to have frameworks for how to succeed.
I want the path ahead to become more predictable for you.
I want the path ahead to be something
that you're exciting about.
That's gonna take you watching this video,
downloading the tools,
and then please share in the community
just by making sure you #TransformationWeek.
Get your friends involved.
Get the girls involved.
Get your buddies involved.
Get everybody involved because
by the end of these seven days,
you will know 2019 will be the best year of your life.
It's an honor to be here with you.
I'm gonna step back now.
We're gonna change the scene and I'm gonna be
teaching you primary aspiration theory.
Let's get it, 2019.
Okay, day one of Transformation Week
is all about get clarity.
If you don't have clarity about who you are
and where you wanna go in life,
man it's difficult to get there, which we all know.
I would say no clarity, no change.
No change, no goals.
No goals, no growth.
So we gotta start by getting you clear
about what you want and where you're going.
And the funny thing is, most people
don't have any framework for doing that.
So in this video, I'm gonna give you three different,
very complex but easy for you to fill out
frameworks to help you figure out your life.
(laughs) Okay?
'Cause we all have different ways
of thinking about our life.
Some people love to just get into each area of their life.
They like to think about their relationships.
They like to think about their health.
They like to think about their friends
and their adventures and their learning.
And that's like their whole life.
It's like looking into each arena of their life.
Other people, me specifically,
I love to think more philosophically,
existentially, big picture, long-term purpose stuff.
That's gonna be this framework
I'm gonna teach you here today in Transformation Week.
And then I'm gonna also teach one more framework.
It's the third framework,
and that's what I call Vision Circles.
It's about how do I decide what I should do with my life,
and how that become a career or a thing?
Because a lot of people ask me, well Brendon,
I'm excited about the next 12 months of my life,
but I don't know what my purpose or my passion
or my career even could be.
So we got a big session here today.
Three different frameworks.
I'm going to start with the one
where we just into the different arenas of your life.
And down below this video, you'll be able
to find downloads and worksheets
for each of these frameworks I'm gonna teach you today.
We're gonna start with what we call
The Whole Life Assessment in my High Performance Planner.
I hope you have this already.
It's not mandatory or required for Transformation Week,
but it will definitely help you for the rest of your life.
This is what I use every single morning
to get my life in order,
and it's what I use at the end
of the day to review my habits.
But something is in here.
It's literally two or three different times
you'll get to do this in the book.
And that is what we call The Whole Life Assessment, okay?
It's like the opening of High Performance Planner.
I have people do this spot check
on their entire life in 10 different categories.
I have 'em look at their health,
their mental emotional states,
their partner, relationship, love,
family, friends, mission, experiences,
spirit, their finances, their learning,
and I have them score themselves on a score of one to 10.
One is not so good, 10 is pretty good.
10 different areas, 10 different ratings,
and that means they get a score of zero to 100%.
And it's just a good spot check.
That's down below this video.
I don't wanna spend a ton of time on it,
because it's very self-explanatory.
You can jump into it.
But what I want you to do for Transformation Week,
and this whole concept today of getting clear,
is I want you to both score yourself in each of these areas,
and then I want you to set goals in each of these areas.
When you fill it out, it's good to get some awareness
and to score yourself, but then I want you to set goals.
Set goals for what should be your health.
And I want you to set an aspirational, big goals.
So for your health, say okay.
It's going to be the best year for my health ever.
What would I do?
Mental and emotional.
If I was gonna feel my absolute best,
what would that look like?
Partnership, relationship love, significant other.
What would that relationship feel like?
Family, friends, mission, experiences,
spirit, finances, learning.
You get the idea.
It's a really great tool if you don't have it.
It's discounted right now on Amazon,
wherever you're at in the world.
I high recommend it for the next part of your life.
(laughs) So I think it's really important.
But you can download that specific
Whole Life Assessment down below.
What I'd like to do is spend time with you
thinking about your life and the aspirations
of your life in a different way.
And that's what we're gonna do here today,
and gonna be most of my teaching
for you today's Transformation Week.
And that is about what are our primary aspirations?
I really believe there's only four
primary aspirations in life, right?
We only have four aspirations, or major goals,
what they might call in psychology higher-order goals.
We have being goals, right?
We have relating goals.
And we also have creating goals, right?
If you think about it, almost everything
you feel or you think or you seek
or you need or you go after,
once you have safety and sustenance in place,
it's really these types of things,
being, relating, and creating.
And specifically what I mean by that
is we all want to be a person who we are proud of,
who we respect, and that we feel alive.
Basically, if you ask a person what do you want?
One thing every person will say is
you know, I wanna feel fully alive and energized,
and I wanna be proud of who I am.
Everybody says that.
That's being goals.
So we're gonna have to ask ya,
who have you been being in the last 12 months,
and who do you want to become in the next 12 months?
And I'm gonna help you do that.
Then people also talk about well, relating goals.
Every single one of us thinks through our life
in many ways from a social lens.
We think about how we relate with other people,
and how we want to feel with other people.
How we want to interact with them,
how we want our relationships to have depth
and pop and vibrancy and connection, right?
We also think about things that we're going to create.
This is where a lot of people are like what do I wanna do?
What do I wanna make?
What do I wanna contribute?
How do I wanna think and use my brain each day?
Those are types of creating higher older goals.
And in the middle of everything,
there's of course, perfect for this time of year,
we all have growing aspirations.
We all wanna grow, right?
So if you think about it, when I sit down with people
and I'm doing high-level coaching with people,
often as simple as it sounds,
a lot of people never do the work.
They're not thinking about
who they're being each day at work.
They're just kind of showing up
and going through the motions.
And going through the motions
is the death of high performance.
So we've got to be more intentional these next 12 months.
Can you agree?
We've got to be more conscientious
and more conscious of how we're showing up,
and we've got to think about how we're going
to relate with other people, what we're creating,
and how we're growing along the way.
These are the four things we all want.
Being, relating, creating, and growing.
And what I wanna do for you now is kind of jump in
to each of the goals that help
those higher-order goals happen.
When I say we have being goals, what do I mean by that?
I mean specifically that we all want congruence in our life.
We all want to be congruent with the best
possible person we know we can be, right?
We wanna be congruent with the future vision
of ourselves as our best self.
When there's suffering in our life,
it's often because we're being incongruent.
We have stepped out of integrity,
and we're not being the person we know we can be,
and it causes mental, emotional, spiritual suffering, right?
I don't know if you've ever been there,
but a lot of people, they kinda go
through the day and they're faking it.
They're not being real.
They're not telling people what they really think,
feel, desire, want, love.
Instead, they're putting on a mask.
They're showing up.
They're not being who they really know they can be,
because they feel like they have to get along.
They feel like they have to fit in.
They're trying so desperately to belong
that they're become fake.
And when we are incongruent with
who we know we really are,
that's the deepest levels of misery in life.
So if you were gonna be more congruent,
how would that show up?
First you would have to say well, who do I want to be?
And so what I'd love for you to think about
is you don't have to think about the end of your life,
though that's a really positive and good thing to do.
Let's start with five years out.
In five years from now, if you were more joyous,
more confident than you are now,
what would that person be like?
Describe your best self five years from now.
And then once you've done that,
now because most people can think about that,
'cause they can start with where they're at.
But then I'd love of you to go
at the very end of your life and say okay.
If at the end of my life I was happy
with the person I became,
what does that person who I became look like
in terms of their values, their beliefs,
who they are in the world, how they show up?
And I want you to know you're gonna ask that.
And many of you have been with me
for a really long time in my community,
and you know that my story began
when I had a car accident at 19.
And that car accident taught me, essentially,
that I wanted to be a more intentional man.
I wanted to realize the blessing of life.
I wanted to have reverence for life,
'cause I realize we all get second chances.
And you know what everyone does with their second chance?
They start fine tuning who they wanna be in life.
And this might be that second chance for you,
this time of year, or this moment,
or as we start Transformation Week together.
But maybe this is your second chance
to live a life more congruent with who you know you are,
and who you know you can be.
You gotta make that commitment.
We can't do it in a worksheet.
You won't get it just hearing me talk.
You've gotta show up each day and say,
I gotta start living my life, not other peoples' lives.
I gotta be congruent with who I know I can be.
And if that's not a deep-seeded commitment to you,
then you gotta think longer about the end of your life
and about the person you're going to become.
And that might charge you up today.
And that's the second thing we're gonna talk about.
If you talk about the being goals,
we oughta be somebody who we're proud
of because we're congruent with our best
values and our highest self.
We also want to be somebody who has a level of charge.
And if you haven't heard that language from me before,
what I mean by that is we all want
a positive energy in our life.
We wanna feel fully charged, right?
Ask any person.
What do you want?
Well, I wanna feel fully alive and proud of who I am.
That's the being aspiration.
I'm proud of who I am.
I feel alive.
Awesome!
So how are you gonna be proud of who you're gonna be,
and how are you gonna feel more fully alive?
How are you gonna develop more charge, more vibrancy.
This is the stuff of health, right?
This is the stuff of health and wellness.
This is the stuff of take care of your body.
Sleep well, eat well, exercise regularly,
get your doctor's check-ups, get your workout buddy.
Take care of yourself.
That's what the charge is.
That's how you get it.
I'm this annoying because for a long time,
I've known I wanna be a guy who has the energy
to deliver his service to the world.
I never wanna run outta gas.
I wanna have stamina all day.
I wanna be mentally sharp when I need to be mentally sharp.
I wanna show up with joy and positivity.
I wanna be a light, not the darkness.
I've gotta figure out how to take care of myself to do that.
So have you been thinkin about these things?
Who you're going to be the next 12 months?
I'd love for you to live in congruence with that.
And in the worksheet, there's some prompts,
some questions that will get you thinking
about these types of things.
How you're showing up in the world
and whether or not it is your truth.
For you to live your highest,
truest sense of yourself, that's congruence.
For you to have the energy to feel good
about your being, your (speaking in foreign language).
For you to feel like I'm good.
There's some prompts for that as well,
so you can start developing in these areas.
These are obviously longer-term,
bigger-picture things than most people
think about at just like New Year's.
It's like oh wait.
I really gotta be more focused on who I'm being
in the world and how I'm living in the world.
That's what our being aspirations are.
The second thing I was talking about was relating.
We have relating aspirations.
Primarily, we want to have deep, vibrant levels
of connection with people.
Ask anyone.
What do you want from your relationship?
At base, they're ultimately gonna get
to the fact of like, I wanna feel a level
of connection where it's a real connection.
We really have a deep connection.
And I want there to be a vibrancy there.
And whether they're discussing a significant other,
a family member, a friend, a lover, we all want that.
We all want that level of depth with somebody, and vibrancy.
We want an energy there and we want realness there.
And everybody at the end of their life
has to be aware of the fact of how they treated people
and the types of relationships they created.
When I face the end of my life, now twice.
I'm in my 40s and I've had two significant bouts
(laughs) of accidents in my life
where I was in hospital beds.
And I can tell you,
you think about the people who you are going to miss,
and who's going to miss you.
And that's why I always talk about live and love, you know?
It's like relating.
We really will think about the relationships.
At the end of your life, you're either going
to be in a bed by yourself if you're passing away that way,
or you're gonna be in a bed and you have
family and friends around
who appreciate you, who care for you.
And that's really important.
And it's also not just a matter
of just going through the motions with relationships,
but deciding to have extraordinary relationships.
If you're going to have greater-quality
relationships with people,
greater depth and greater vibrancy,
how would you need to show up in those relationships?
Now what are they giving you.
How would you need to show up to set that tone,
to be the role model, to create that magic.
Because we're so good at that
when we first start dating somebody, right?
You do all the little tricks to make 'em smile.
You give 'em a gifts.
You send the thank you notes.
You dote on them.
And then five, 10 years go by later
and you're like did you take out the trash?
And you lost that sense of oh, it's my job
to create connection here.
It is your job in your marriage,
in your partnership, in your love relationship
with other people to create the connection.
That's your job.
Create the connection.
Deepen the connection.
Make that connection more vibrant.
That is your job.
And if you don't understand that,
you don't understand relationships.
This is the end outcome is the depth
and vibrancy of relationships.
I also know that in relating,
what's really important to us is that we need to feel care.
We need to feel cared for.
Connection, that's something we can go and make happen,
but we desperately need to feel cared for by others.
When an infant is born, if they're not cared for, they die.
And if an infant is born and they're raised in malice,
if they're raised in total chaos,
it's not that they can't have a good life,
but the odds are against them so bad now.
And so we've got to feel cared for.
But here's the deal.
If you're not caring for yourself
and you're not setting boundaries
and expectations with other people,
if you're letting people run you over all the time,
overload you with too many tasks, you don't feel cared for.
Suddenly you're the high performer
or you're the leader at the top, and it's lonely at the top.
It's like one of my mentors, Brian Tracy, says.
If you're lonely at the top, you did it wrong.
If you don't feel like anyone is caring for you,
you're not asking for help,
or you're not asking for help from the right people.
Listen, you can be a person who creates great,
positive, amazing relationship,
but if there's no recip-ri-ocity there.
Recip-ri-ocity?
If there's no reciprocity there! (laughs)
I was like I know this word!
If there's no reciprocity there, you're miserable.
Isn't it true?
I know that you might be the person
who's the giving spirit in your family and friends.
You might be the high performer.
But if no one is caring back, then there's misery.
So what do you have to do?
You have to ask for it.
It's the hardest thing in the world,
but if you don't get the cards or the appreciation
or the acknowledgement or the validation
from your spouse, your partner, your friends, your team,
you have to call that out and say, hey listen.
I'm not feeling cared for in this relationship.
I'm doing all the work.
I'm not feeling like you guys care if I'm here or not.
Because if you don't feel cared for,
everything else can be good in your life,
but that one thing strips you of joy.
And the only way to get more caring from others
is to have the courage to ask for it.
If you need more caring from your spouse,
this Transformation Week should kick that off
and you should ask for it.
You just say, you know what?
I need a little more attention.
I need a little more acknowledgement.
I need a little more appreciation.
I'm kinda drowning here.
I feel alone.
If you don't voice these things,
how is your life going to improve?
We all want deep and vibrant relationships in our life,
but we don't get 'em unless we ask
for the caring that we need.
The other thing that we all want is the creating aspiration,
and that is specifically two things.
One, creativity.
Creativity is vital for a sense of well-being in our life.
And I'm sure you've had those jobs before
where you go to a job and you don't actually
make, do, or participate in anything, right?
You're pushing the paper or you're just kinda
going through the motions,
but you're not really there creating,
contributing, being a part of the process.
There's no magic there.
So how are you gonna activate
your creativity in the next 12 months?
What are you gonna do?
How are you gonna put creativity in your agenda
every day in some way or another?
That means maybe you take 20 minutes to draw.
Maybe it means you take 30 minutes extra
on projects to go ahead and flower it up a little bit.
Maybe it means, for you, you start shooting
those videos or creating that content,
or doing that thing that you love.
For me, I gotta write every day or I go insane.
Everyone has their different thing.
But your ability to consistently express creativity
is something that most people forget
when they think about their resolutions or their goals.
So right here in Transformation Week,
I'm telling you, you need to activate
your creativity more often.
You need to ask how, when, where?
And it's really important.
So let me give you an example.
I have a creativity rule.
Whenever I finish a project,
I go back through it one time
and go how would I change things up
if it was a little more creative?
How could I add a little more of my voice,
my values, aesthetic to this?
It's one of the things I feel really made my career magical
is that I never just go through and finish something
and hand it off or post it.
I go one more time through and go
how can I do this a little more creatively?
And that sparks my mind.
Because listen, if your mind is bored,
you can be a very congruent, healthy person.
If your mind is bored,
you can also have great relationships.
But you'll be miserable if your mind is bored,
and you know this, right?
So you are the person who is responsible for your mind.
You're the person who has to activate it
and let that thing dance and play and flow.
And if you're not doing it, listen.
You can't blame your job.
You can't blame your boss.
You can't blame your spouse.
If you're living a boring, uncreative life, that's on you.
And one of the best things you can ever do
to revitalize yourself is to create more habits
where you're doing something
where you're creatively engaging.
Building something.
Contributing something.
Doing something that matters.
Now, also on the creating thing
is where we really find our meaning,
our sense of joy, and that is in contribution, right?
We all wanna know that our life
is ultimately contributing something.
This is where some people would say,
well, Brendon, I've got these giving goals.
Well, what you're really trying to do
is you're trying to create contribution in the world, right?
Contribution doesn't happen.
You create it.
Contribution doesn't just happen.
You have to be specific, thoughtful, strategic.
You have to go what do I wanna contribute?
What do I want my legacy to be?
What do I want to contribute for my sense of magic of life?
It comes from giving, right?
We're never living unless we're giving,
and you all know that.
So what contributions would you love
to make in the next 12 months?
And I don't mean just write a check somewhere.
That's okay, too, though.
I mean more like what would you like
to contribute ultimately?
Your life is creating a story.
And as your life is creating this story, what is it giving?
At the end of these chapters, what's being given out?
What's the message?
What's the contribution specifically?
And I think what happens this time of year
is people don't think about giving.
They just don't.
And they're more like well,
I wanna achieve this best-selling book.
Or I want to get this stuff.
But what they're really after is new states of being,
better relationships, and knowing that their work,
their daily activities, are adding up
to some type of difference in the world.
That's our contribution.
Okay, with all that said, well then we've got
in the middle of all this, of course we wanna grow.
We wanna grow in our relationships
and who we're being and in what we're giving.
And two things matter the most to our happiness.
And it took me a long time to figure these two things out,
but they're so fundamental.
Number one is our drive for excellence.
This, some people frankly don't have.
Other people have too much.
But this drive for excellence is about,
the real sense of growing comes from a sense
of I want to be more excellent at this thing, right?
I wanna be more excellent at this skill.
If you wanna grow as a public speaker,
what that means is I want to be more excellent onstage.
If you wanna grow in any given skillset,
if you wanna develop competency,
that means I wanna get better at this.
I wanna get better at this.
Everything you do, you wanna be able
to go I wanna get better at this.
I wanna get better at this.
And that comes from that impulse of excellence.
I wanna do things well and get better at it
is at the center of our sense of growth.
So look around your life.
Where can you get more excellent?
Is it a skill?
Is it something that you give?
If you think of all the major activities you do during
a day, how could you do 'em better, right?
It could be as simple as I go to the gym
and I do my bicep workouts, Brendon.
I'm like okay, cool. (laughs)
How do you do it better next time?
Well, Brendon, I'm just a painter.
I go in and I just flow.
Okay, how do you do it better?
How do you do things better is one
of the great things that built
our human society to level it is at,
is that people have the aspiration
to do things with excellence.
But also that's building excellence.
There's another sense of growing that's really important,
and that is called enrichment goals.
An enrichment goal means you know how I know
I'm growing in a relationship?
I'm enriching it.
Enriching means things like I'm more mindful.
I feel it more.
There's more presence.
I'm making memories now, right?
Our real sense of growth in life
is when we start to feel like more.
Isn't it true?
Our real sense of growth in life,
is when we start to feel like more.
When you start enriching a moment with presence,
mindfulness, awareness, conscientiousness, consciousness.
Our real sense of spiritual growth
doesn't come from getting more things.
It comes from learning to be present
in a way in which our spirit is more alive,
that we have enriched the moment with spirit.
We don't need more things.
We need to feel differently.
And so you know you're growing in life
when each day feels more magical.
Isn't it true?
That's what we're after.
So I call this whole thing Primary Aspiration Theory,
which is a really fancy way
of calling the basics something fancy.
But Primary Aspiration Theory is really important.
But here's why I teach you all this.
Because I want to teach you
the difference in peoples' lives.
And once you get this,
I think your life is forever transformed.
We all have these.
Every human being wants to be proud of themselves
because they're congruent with who they know they can be,
and they have energy.
Remember, I want to be alive and proud of who I am.
You also have relating goals.
I want deep, caring, rich relationships with other people.
I want to create things that amplify,
turn on my mind, make me feel creative,
and make a difference in the world.
That's creating.
And I want to know I'm getting better at things
and that life feels better.
Those statements are the sum of everything
I guarantee you really want in life.
But how do you if you're gonna get 'em?
Well one, this is the subject of today's lesson,
you gotta get clear on these things.
You gotta start thinking about these things
at more philosophical, deep, practical levels.
And that's just important.
These show up, for me, in every way
that I fill out my whole life assessment
from the High Performance Planner.
But for you, maybe you revisit this video.
Maybe you download the worksheet.
You revisit it every Sunday.
I don't know.
You need to make a practice
that these are on the dashboard of your mind.
But here's the thing.
I don't know how to draw this exactly,
so forgive me if this doesn't look so great
and I ruin my beautiful picture,
but here's what I've learned.
Around all of this, as this goes on and on in our lives,
what I have learned is something so simple and so basic.
It's that the difference it has made in peoples' lives
are based on two things, and two primary things.
So are you gonna be the person you wanna be?
Are you gonna have the relationships you really want?
Are you really gonna grow?
Are you gonna create things that really matter
and make you come alive with creativity?
There tends to be two things that differentiate people,
'cause we all want this.
Obviously clarity is important.
We gotta know these things.
That's why I'm having you do the work.
But here's the difference in how people
feel later in their life.
Number one, and again, I'm gonna ruin my little
picture here 'cause I don't know.
So here's the difference in the quality
of peoples' lives though.
Watch this.
And I'm gonna ruin my little pretty picture here.
But here's the difference in people's lives.
One thing is ambition.
Think of all of these things.
If your ambition for your relationships is down low,
then that's a different quality of relationship.
If your ambition is to have great relationships,
that aims your intention.
That sets your expectation.
That changes the interactions.
Many people, their ambitions are too low
for the quality of life they really wanna experience.
They're not dreaming big enough.
They're not thinking big enough.
They've given up on themselves.
They don't believe in themselves.
And they keep hoping that something else
is going to change for them.
But I wanna say, only two things change your life.
Either something new comes into your life.
So you're lucky.
You win the lottery.
You meet a new person.
You get that new job out of nowhere.
Or something new comes from within.
Only two things change your life.
Either something new comes into your life
or something new comes from within.
And one of the things that you must allow
this next 12 months is permission for higher ambition.
Permission for higher ambition.
Listen, your level of contribution in the world,
your level of excellence at what you're doing,
your level of who you show up as,
your level of relationships are all based
on the ambitions you have.
Your desire, your hunger, your dreams,
your vision for all that stuff.
And many people, they just never thought about it.
So A, that's the problem,
or B, they're aiming too dang low.
You have come further in your life
than you give yourself credit for.
Your goals must appropriately adjust.
What happens is, most people set their ambitions
based on their current circumstances,
or their current competencies, or their past childhood.
And I'm like no, no, no listen.
You're in a new place now.
The future's better than you think.
You're stronger than you think.
Today, you can't let your vision for your future
be limited by the circumstances
or the conditions of today or the past.
You've gotta break all that in your mind
and see your life where you want it to go
and have ambition again.
I always tell people, one of the best ways
to change your life is to start expecting
something from yourself again, my sister.
Ambition.
It's time to raise your standards.
To set your sights higher.
That's what doesn't happen for people here,
and that's often where they struggle.
So all around this, two things are happening.
One, your level of ambition.
And two, this is the difference maker,
your level of command.
Man, no one likes this word but I love it.
Your level of command in life.
This means you taking charge of your life.
You, when you get knocked back up
saying okay, I'm in charge.
I gotta get back up and go.
When you struggle in life, you take charge again of life.
If you don't have command of your life,
if you don't take the helm,
if you're not the captain of the ship,
all of this is just positive thinking, man.
The difference maker in peoples' life
is the ambition they set and the command they take
over their circumstances, their thoughts,
their behaviors, their actions, their relationships,
the direction of their daily focus and goals, man.
That's it.
Think about the importance of command.
Another way that might sound softer to say this
is resilience, competence, and self-direction.
It means, hey listen.
Lots of people want things.
They have big goals.
When they get knocked down, they don't have
the confidence or the resilience
or the self-determination to get up and go again.
Or they let other people push them around.
Everyone says no, so they quit.
Everyone says you can't, so they believe they can't.
But highly successful people take command of their life.
They say you know what?
This is the demarkation line.
I am no longer gonna let everyone else push me around.
I am no longer gonna play small.
When someone speaks down to me, I will speak up to them.
When someone tells me you don't have
a chance, you say watch me
when someone doesn't believe you realize
that their understanding is not necessary for your progress.
It's taking command over your thoughts,
behavior, and direction in life,
and being able to do that
in the most difficult of circumstances.
Being able to do that when no one believes.
Being able to take command when you don't feel like it.
Command is the same thing.
Another way to say it?
Self-discipline, right?
It's like okay, I don't feel like it today.
You might wake up and be like I don't feel
like it today, but you take command.
You say okay brain, I hear what you're saying.
You don't feel like it, but listen.
We're gonna do it.
Put those shoes on.
Hit the road.
You're joggin'.
Let's go.
Command is taking control of those fearful
or lazy impulses that shut us down or turn off our action.
Command.
It says listen, I know I don't feel
like it, but it's my time.
I know I don't feel like it,
but I don't care what I feel like.
What's important?
What is necessary?
And I would say this has been a difference maker in my life.
Everyone thinks, well Brendon, you're the motivator.
You must wake up everyday in a flowery mood.
Ask my wife.
Sometimes I wake up, I'm like a grump.
Denise is like what's up with you?
Partially 'cause I don't drink caffeine in the morning.
Maybe that's part of it. (laughs)
She's just like flowing and she's a morning person.
My father, my mother, they're morning people.
They're happy and loving and joyous,
and sometimes I'm like (grunts).
Don't talk to me for a little bit here.
I need to get myself situated, you know?
So believe it or not, I need to take command of my mornings.
When my mornings are like let's lay in bed,
then I'm like let's get to work.
When my day feels like it's derailed,
I go let's get it back on track.
Let's go.
Because think of the alternative.
A difficulty shows up in life and you flow
with the difficulty in the sense of giving up.
Something interrupts your day and you go oh,
I guess there goes the whole day.
Screw it.
Netflix, popcorn, and wine.
Well, Netflix, popcorn, and wine
feels really good in the moment.
But you lost command of your life
and you gave it to the TV.
And so I want you to think about you taking command
over how you're showing up in the world,
how you're treating other people, what you're creating,
and how your growing changes everything.
When you develop your own curriculum
for growth in life, everything changes.
Mediocrity happens when somebody is not taking
command of the true potential within them.
And I want you to really hear me say that.
So maybe you hit pause, rewind, play it again.
Maybe you take your notes down.
But this is the most important thing I can tell you.
The quality of people's lives usually comes back to
are they clear about these areas?
Do they have some clarity about their life assessment,
as you're gonna fill out.
Are they clear about where they're at
and what they want in these areas?
But ultimately, the quality really depends
on your ambition and the command that you take.
Now, I know as you're watching this,
if you know my work you're like but Brendon,
you also love sociology and environment.
And that's true, right?
I'm not here to say that people
who have lots of ambition and command
can succeed in every environment.
Sometimes the culture, the community, sometimes disrespect,
sometimes people just having terrible actions towards you.
Sometimes life.
I get it.
But I'll tell you what,
no one succeeds without these two things.
So let's develop them.
I want you to believe in a higher purpose, a higher calling,
a higher quality of life, a higher abundance for yourself.
And I want you to get up tomorrow,
and no matter how you feel, take command of that day.
Now, let's get on to the last piece.
Everyone asks, when I talk about these types of things,
is well Brendon, the thing is for me,
I don't know what I want.
And so let's talk about the vision circle.
For those who are like okay.
I'm with you Brendon, I'm getting some clarity here.
The whole life assessment helped me focus.
Now you got my existential brain
firing off on what I want in life.
Now for those of you who are really struggling
to tactfully kinda line it up a little bit,
here's what I like to suggest.
What I learned about finding clarity in my life,
about my passion and my vision for my life, like what I do,
and that is what I just call the vision circle.
It's just a different way of thinking
about what your trade or your mission
or your career or you major contribution might be.
Now, some of them are basic.
You've all heard before, right?
Just follow your passions.
So passions is a good one.
If you already know what you're passionate about
and you love it, do more of it.
Got it?
If you already know what brings you alive,
the world needs you to do more of that.
So focus on that!
Passion is a lot of it, knowing what you enjoy.
But listen, I wanna also communicate to you,
passion isn't everything.
I never had passion for video.
I was like terrified of video.
I didn't have passion for speaking on stages.
I was mortified of public speaking.
And now, as many of you know, 250 million video views.
I spoke to 55,000 people live
in person these last 12 months.
Now I do those things really well,
and now they're a passion.
But in the beginning they were not a passion.
But those skillsets were a requirement for me to serve.
So sometimes, your passion grows
as you find where you want to serve.
Now, people say, well Brendon,
I don't know where I want to serve.
So that's where this other thing comes
in mind, and that's need.
And this is what often you'll hear new teachers
in the entrepreneurial space will be like well,
just find a problem and solve it.
Just find a need in the marketplace
and give the solution, and you'll be rich!
(laughs) You know?
That's most people.
It really bothers me when people focus solely on that one.
Because here's the thing, if all you do in your life
is solve other peoples' problems,
you probably won't live your own life.
If all you do is create solutions for big needs,
but you're not passionate about those needs,
you'll be solving problems and you will be unfulfilled.
People tell me all the time.
Brendon, just create more of your posts.
Look at the analytics of all your posts,
and just create more posts
based on what the audience always liked.
And I go, oh.
So meaning give up my personal art?
Meaning don't put out things
that I wanna put out for no other reason?
Most of my contributions on social media
have nothing to do with is this gonna get the most likes.
It's this is a message I wanna put in the world.
And often, I'll put a post out there
and it'll get like a thousand likes.
And someone will write back and they'll be like Brendon!
If you did this thing, or you made this meme,
you could reach 10,000 or a million people.
I'm like I know, but I'm not a meme creator.
There's no passion there for me.
Yeah, it solves a need, like the customers like it.
But it's not who I am.
My passion isn't there.
That's why I think these things have to overlap.
You can see opportunities or needs in the marketplace,
but if we all just went along and tried to solve every need
or opportunity in the marketplace,
we'd be very unfulfilled if we didn't learn
to match it up with what's true in our heart,
what our passions dictate.
That's why those need to overlap.
Then, what I think is really important,
and this is what most people fail at in life,
is whatever you choose to do,
you need to make sure it matches up
with the lifestyle that you want to live.
This is one most people don't get
until they get older, right?
When you're young, you're following your passions.
You're trying to get a job.
But at some point, you gotta ask,
does this match with the lifestyle that I wanna live?
For me, I know I could have built these big companies.
And I've got four brands that do 10s of millions in dollars.
I'm super proud of that.
But for me, I also didn't build
a company of 10,000 employees.
I could have.
But that wasn't a lifestyle that I wanted, right?
I could have gone and done dozens
of other things in my life
that wouldn't have allowed my lifestyle.
I knew my lifestyle was I don't want
a jam-packed agenda in the morning.
If you ever came into my house on a vacation
or on any given workday, it's the same.
My vacation morning is very similar to my work morning.
I get up.
I do my 20 minutes of vinyasa or movement or calisthenics.
So I move for 20 minutes, I read for 20 minutes,
and then I plan the day for 20 minutes.
And then often in that first hour of this plan,
I kinda peter around the house.
I'm kind of like a lost Nutty Professor,
wandering around thinking about things.
Reading research, writing notes.
I mean, I look completely lost and confused.
But that's just my creative mind going.
I didn't want a job where I had to be,
'cause I'd already had that in my 20s,
where I had to be somewhere at eight a.m.
And meeting 8:15, meeting 8:30, nine.
I did that.
I gave my 20s to that type of life,
where it was literally meeting all day.
Or on the phone all day.
I did that, too.
Or doing something I didn't love all day.
I said no, there's a lifestyle that I want.
I want to be able to work from anywhere
in the world at any time that I want,
to generate the levels of revenue that I want.
That pushed me in specific directions.
Your lifestyle that you want for your family,
that should push you in a certain direction.
And I know as I'm speaking, some of you have careers
that is compromising a lifestyle that you want.
And at some point, you're gonna open up your calendar,
go out six months, mark that date six months from now
and say, that's when a change is gonna happen.
You gotta set a date.
If you're meeting a need to pay the bills,
but you have no passion there
and it's destroying your life at home
you gotta change that, man.
Otherwise you'll be unhappy.
Then this last piece I think is really important too,
but most people don't think about, and that is community.
The people who you are around, right?
I've had really great corporate jobs in my past.
And I tell you, some of them I quit
because I was like I don't like these people.
(laughs) You know?
Part of the finding your thing in life,
like if you don't know what your passion is,
part of finding your thing in life
is being around people who you think are cool,
who you think are aspirational, who you look up to,
and let life kinda find its way.
I tell young kids this all the time.
They're like, I don't know.
I'm gonna work for this company or this company,
and there's these benefits and all this.
I'm like when you went there,
which culture did you think was cooler?
These people inspire me.
Choose that one.
Don't choose the one that writes the bigger check
or the one that's more convenient.
Choose the one that you're gonna be
around a community of people.
I tell other people, if you don't know
what you're passion is, you don't know a need,
and you don't even know what your lifestyle is,
get around cool people.
Elevate your peer group and they will open doors.
They will mentor you.
They will guide you to find what is true.
In these four circles,
there's that sweet spot in the middle.
And to me, that sweet spot is always one of two things.
Often similar, but if we had to draw, pop that out,
I would say if you don't know what you wanna do,
follow what you love learning.
And if you've done all this
and you still don't know what you wanna do,
go back and look for the things in which you found meaning,
things that brought your heart and your soul alive.
That's what I'd go back for.
So if you totally feel like Brendon,
I don't know what my passions are.
Brendon, I'm 16, 18 years old.
I don't know what my passions are.
I don't know what I should do.
I don't like my parents, my family,
or the kids around school.
I don't know what I wanna live.
Follow what you love learning.
If you love learning literature, follow that.
If you love dance, follow that.
If you love video and content, follow that.
Follow where that thing is.
I love tinkering with this.
If it's building Legos, follow that.
I don't care what it is.
Follow what you love learning,
and then if you still don't know,
go back to you what you found meaning in,
what really connected with your heart and your soul.
Now, I know this was a long session in Transformation Week.
OMG, believe me, 'cause I'm sweatin' here.
I'm teachin', right?
I'm doing the work for you here.
I get it.
But this is day one.
This is about getting clarity.
And everyone has a different way of getting clarity.
I hope in some way, somewhere in this process
I put a spark in your brain to get
a little more clarity about what you want.
Now, I don't think in any way that I'm solving
all your problems today for your next 12 months.
My hope is that in this first day,
this is just day one of Transformation Week,
I got your brain going about your life.
And if you don't like me, that's okay.
I don't like my shirt today, either.
But what I'd love for you to do is one gift to yourself.
Download the worksheets and do the work.
That's it.
All I'm gonna ask you in Transformation Week,
even in the next five videos.
'Cause every day for the next seven days,
I'm gonna send you a brand new video.
They won't all be as long as this,
and they won't look like this,
because tomorrow I'm hopping on a plane
to a far-off distant place as you will see.
So they're not all gonna look like this.
But this is day one.
I wanna kick it off right for you.
But hope is, even if you don't watch the videos,
and even if you don't like me.
You're like, I signed up for this Transformation Week
and this guy's wearing a shirt with little bow ties.
This is absurd.
What I'd love for you to do
is make sure you download the worksheets.
Because you know who has the answer?
Not me.
You.
So as you fill out these worksheets,
I think you'll find some new direction in your life.
I think it's important to always journal in your life.
One reason I push the High Performance Planner so hard
is it forces you to journal every morning,
every night, at the end of each week,
and the end of each month.
And those prompts help you stay more aligned.
So again, a shout out to High Performance Planner,
the whole team who helped create
this thing and get this out there.
I appreciate you.
Make sure you grab your copy, but download the worksheets.
Do the work.
Journaling is powerful.
All right, so I hope you enjoyed
this first day of Transformation Week.
Do me a favor.
Make sure you share this page.
If you found some insight here or you liked the worksheets,
tell your friends about Transformation Week.
Get them involved.
It's gonna be this type of training for the next seven days.
So get your team.
Get your girls.
Get people involved in this.
I'd really appreciate it.
Give me a shout out on Instagram and social media as well
by using #TransformationWeek so we can find you.
If you love this type of thing,
then please stay involved in the community.
Please open your emails from me.
I'll be sending them from HPX Life
every single day for the next seven days,
with more training, more tools,
more insights to make the next 12 months
the best of your life.
I honor you for taking time today
to learn about your own personal development,
to continue that journey to becoming your best self.
I can't wait to see you tomorrow.
Until then, use #TransformationWeek.
Tell people what you're learning along the way.
Share this page, and I'll see you tomorrow.
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