Hello everyone!
Welcome back to my channel!
We have officially started the last month of 2018
I think 2018 has been a very fulfilling year for me.
I think I have gone through lots of changes, in life, in career, and in my mindset this year.
i am very thankful for all the learnings
At the same time, I would love to share my learnings with all of you
Thinking back, I have actually been living in the US for 11 years now
I came to America when I was 16 years old
I came here for part of high school, college, grad school and then worked at a corporate job for a few years too
This year, i just stated my own business as an entrepreneur, i also got married
Over the past 11 years, i have been a student, an employee, and now a business owner
I have learned lots from every stage of my life
So today I'd like to share with you the 11 things i learned from 11 years in America
First, you are fully responsible for your own future.
Living in a foreign country, I think it's extra important to fight for your own opportunities and take cake of yourself physically and mentally
No one else can take that responsibility for you
Of course we can have great friends and great mentors to guide us
But what they offer are mostly advice. They can care for you, but they can't take fully responsibility.
So whether we are talking about your physical health, or your school work, career, behavior, etc.
even your future family and children
You have to take control of all of them
I have met many people who are dissatisfied about their life and where they are currently
Such as "my job really sucks", school is so hard, i can't get good grades
Or i didn't have enough interview opportunities, etc
And they will start complaining about everything they are not happy with in life
We all have things we don't like in life, hardships we have to overcome, but everything we are not happy with we have the power to change them
The most important thing is to work for it
it's really easy to push the responsibility onto others, onto the environment, your family, your spouse, etc
but what's hard is to set up your mind and make changes
if you want a healthy body, then eat well and exercise
if you want a better job, then do something to improve your resume so you deserve a better job or a promotion
if you such at school then spend more time reading and doing homework
if you don't like your bf/gf, then find someone you truly connect with or
sit down with each other and communicate. Learn about why you are both unhappy and what can you do to improve the situation
If you really set your mind to do something about it, you can always make changes for the better
#2, success come from hard work and persistence
A lot of people ask me questions about fitness since i post some pictures on instagram (crystalyve) about my fitness progress in the past 2 years
When looking at those photos, a lot of people asked me how I was able to make that progress and how come i got abs suddenly
Actually, I think most of you know the answer already
it's just (healthy diet + workout) x time
A lot of people can either eat healthy, or workout, or maybe do both
but what most people can't do is keeping that habit for a long period of time
A lot of people only have 3 minutes of passion towards their goals
such as ok i will do this today, or for 3 days, 5 days or a month maybe
some better ones can keep it for 3 months, 5 months?
but few people think of achieving their goals as a lifetime event
My advice to most girls who are going on a diet is that you have to make healthy diet a project for the rest of your life
So i will eat healthy, i will workout consistently, because I want a healthy body for the rest of my life, that's the right mindset.
When you think of your goal as a lifetime project, you will not only work hard in the short time, you will continue to work towards it longterm
Then you will eventually achieve health and fitness for the rest of your life
It's the same for work or school, just work hard over time, and you will be where you want to be
#3, be humble, you will learn more from others
I think one of the best cultures of China is being humble
but many young people nowadays are very smart, but can't truly be humble and listen to others' different opinions
A lot of people say they they are open to others' opinions, but when other people do voice different opinions, they become really defensive
they would think "who are you to judge me?"
it's hard to put yourself down and truly be curious towards others
i'm not asking you to agree with them, but be respectful of others, especially opposing thoughts could do lots of good for you in life
This can also apply to your career
some friends have asked me, so I think my colleagues gave me a really hard time on this project i led
I can't agree with them, I think they are targeting me
Do you think they are discriminating towards me because i'm Asian?
but thinking from a different perspective, have you truly understood their concerns?
Are they concerned because a different method makes more sense for the client or the company?
Also, maybe their comments are harsh and a bit hard to accept, but if we look at it objectively, are they trying to helping you to improve at work?
When we really put down our ego and try our best to learn from others, we will receive kindness in return too
People will be more likely to offer you advice or help, whether among friends, or colleagues, or family members
Most people would prefer to help someone who is humble, am I right?
4. Learn to rest, don't overload
I personally have made this mistake before.
In 2016, i was trying out a startup project, if you followed me for a long time, you probably still remember
I was working on wechat, social media, etc
Actually, my full time job at that time was extremely busy, because i was being promoted to a managerial position
On top of that, I was extra courses during the weekends, both Saturdays and Sundays
I was also mantianing my youtube channel and this startup project
So i had absolutely no life, I was working 7 days a week, no breaks in between
I was sleeping 5-6 hrs or less every day
I was under a major breakdown
Not only a physical breakdown, but also a mental and emotional breakdown
i was so depressed and stressed out that sometimes I would drink a whole bottle of wine in 1 night just to make me go to sleep
It was a terrible time of my life
So for all of my high achievers out their, who are young, you are amazing for wanting to achieve more in life
You have a great mindset to start
but we still have to work hard with a method, with a good rythem
we can't rush with no direction
we will not only burn ourselves way too quickly, it will also not be sustainable
So I think my best advice is to have a plan for your time and your goals, be reasonable, and give yourself time to rest.
Eventually you will find that you actually achieve more this way
#5 speak up for yourself
I think this is a common symptom among the Chinese people in the US, not only our generation
I think Asian rights in general are not as protected or concerned by the public compared to most other ethnic groups
in general we are just not very vocal about our rights
not very good at making a point or defending our culture/rights
i think most people who live here think either it's none of their business or it's scary to stand up to the government
We just mind our own business and that's it
I think i understand because in different countries, with different systems, there are different approaches
but in America, to protect our rights, to voice our opinions, to defend our cultures and political or social views are extremely important
I think there is still lots to do in this area for us, and we should be doing better for our next generations
6. Don't take social media too seriously
This is something I personally am still working on
I think no matter you are an influencer or not, we shouldn't make too much connection between the virtual lives we see on the internet and our real lives we live in person
Because everything the influencers post on the internet are truly the best moments of themselves and their lives
They are posting the most perfect images of their lives
And when we focus too much on other peoples' lives and believe it too much
We can't help but become unsatisfied about our own lives
For example, when you look at a cute couple, you would think omg they are so sweet, my bf/gf or husband/wife and i are never like this
Then we would blame other about not meeting this high expectation
Or when we see a perfectly beautiful and fit model
and then we start hating our bodies and think no one will love us
I really don't think we should be comparing ourselves to those images
Because maybe that one sweet moment was the only sweet moment between the couple in their relationship and they decided to share that on the internet
and then you believed in it and started an argument with your significant other
is that really worth it?
The fitness youtube may have edited their pictures 10 times and posed 100 times but you believed it was unfiltered
then you developed self hate and become unconfident or unsafe about your body image
it's also super unhealthy
So all in all, I think we should all take a more objective view on social media
because a lot of that information is unreal
so why let that bother our lives? Just don't take it too seriously please
Ok, so I think the video is getting pretty long here, so I'm going to start with sharing the first 6 things I learned
The rest i will share in part 2 of this video :)
Thank you so much for watching I hope you find something interesting or inspiring
Happy weekend, I will see you very soon!
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