Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
'I'd say his morbid style is rather suitable to you Karl'
Rosalba Neri seems to be in every Italian exploitation flick made in the 60s and early 70s
'Ah, but I am in my own fashion, also a lady of the night'
and you might recognise her form our review of Lady Frankenstein
'It's a charming story'
This week we're watching her in the Devil's Wedding night,
which, as the title implies, is about Dracula's wedding night.
'And I want you to be my best man'
the Italian title was Full Moon of the Virgins, which does make more sense
'On the night of the first full moon after summer,
'5 virgins are chosen from the village and called to the castle'
Now that's a plot you can take to the bank, but it's worrying for the virginal Tanya
'I wish I could help'
Now what could I do
This is Franz Schiller, who has come here looking for...
'The long lost ring of the Nibelungen'
having stolen a protective amulet from his studious twin brother Karl
'It's supposed to protect the wearer from all forms of supernatural evil, of any sort'
Which is a sensible precaution given the ring's location
'In Transylvania'
'But that's vampire country'
More specifically...
'Castle Dracula to be exact'
So he won't be going anywhere without the amulet
'I think I left it at the inn where I stayed last night.'
Maybe this carelessness is why he's followed by a sinister figure
Whom the movie is keeps reminding us is sinister
Every time he appears
Which is actually a lot
Despite all this Franz's search starts well, after Tanya, the innkeepers daughter,
he meets Contessa Dolingen de Vries,
'you are the Contessa Dolingen de Vries I presume.'
and things go his way again.
'I imagine women find you quite irresistible'
He imagines that too
but then!
Well that's just a world of wrong - and we later discover that is indeed a giant bat
But no sooner has the Countess proved to Franz that once you've gone bat you never go back...
'forgive me, I appear to have startled you.'
His brother shows up
'You will stay the night, won't you Mr Schiller'
There's a woman contemplating the elusive 'double',
but instead it gets weird
This laughter goes for 5 minutes
interspersed with lesbian sex and bathing in blood
but mostly laughter.
What makes The Devil's Wedding Night hard to review, is that if I tell you what happens it sounds alright
'Then you approve?'
Trashy, but alright.
'I seem to have arrived in time for the fun'
What I can't convey is the pace. Following the 5 minutes of laughter, Karl searches the castle.
That's another 5 minutes and this doesn't have the interjections of nudity to remit from shots of a man staring at walls
Which does at least lead to him meeting a vampire who seems to be in need of dental work
Finally the basic premise does kick in
Virgin number 1, come on down!
Their presence is required for the ritual preceding the remarriage of the Countess to Dracula,
into whom Franz has been reincarnated
'You are my husband returned to me'
'Count dracula'
I'm thinking the ritual might involve nudity
although the stuffed owl full of blood took me by surprise
I'm also thinking the twin thing might come up
'He's an imposter'
Sidebar; don't you hate it when you forget the slow motion camera and have to improvise
This is a pretty typical example of the sub-hammer, blood and boob focused Euro horror genre
and it doesn't really matter that it's predictable as hell
'I have nothing to worry about'
what matters is that in a short review I've told you the whole damn plot, there's so much filler!
'I admit I was rather offended'
And yet, come the end
the sinister man whose identity we never learn and whose presence is never explained gets the ring,
gets the girl, wins the whole damn movie!
'You joke'
In all the shots of people walking or staring at things, could you not have had one scene that explains this?!
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Rosalba Neri made a whole bunch of cult flicks during a relatively brief career and we've only reviewed 2.
What should we be doing next. Let us know in the comments below.
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