If only I had known!
Hey everyone, Dana here!
Mr. German Man and I have been together for almost 9 years now, so we have had plenty
of time to get to know each other and figure things out.
But looking back on it, there were definitely a few things that I feel like it just would
have just been nice to know about the German culture and kind of Germans in general before
we started dating.
Now, of course everyone is different and unique, but these are just some things that looking
back on it I feel like...it would have been helpful for me and Mr. German Man to know. Yeah.
First of all, oh how much I wish I had known that Germans can often be quite direct.
As an American, I am used to beating around the bush about things, softening the blow
before giving a critique.
I was honestly taught in school that before giving someone a critique of their work you
should find at least one or two positive bits of feedback to give first.
So for example if I was supposed to critique someone's book report in school, first I
should say "well, I really liked how much effort you put into the plot description,
and the picture on the front of your report that you drew is really beautiful.
But one critique would be...I don't know, maybe, you completely forgot to mention the
main character of the book." Or something. It doesn't matter.
The point is that I was really taught to first write down, you know, and say a few positive
things and then I could give my critique.
Yeah, apparently they did not teach that technique at Mr. German Man's school.
He can often be quite direct and to the point.
For example, maybe I show him a video that I made and he'll watch it and then, you know,
afterwards I'm waiting for his response.
And sometimes if he notices that something
is off about the video he'll just say that thing first, you know?
He'll just be like: the color's off.
Without buffering that with one or two good comments, like what I learned in school.
Or maybe he will say, like: Nice. The color's off.
And that nice at the beginning is his way of trying to be less direct.
Like, buff the critique, he'll be like, nice.
But, yeah, that's still different than what I learned in school.
So I wish I had just known about this whole being more direct thing from the beginning
because then I would have understood it more.
I also wish that I had known that generally speaking many Germans just don't seem to
show their excitement as boldly as, again generally speaking, many Americans do.
If Mr. German Man comes home with exciting news and he tells me about it, I will probably
make a big face to show my emotion very clearly, as though I'm on stage performing in a play.
And I'll oooh and I'll aaahh all dramatically to convey my excitement.
Whereas if I come home and tell Mr. German Man equally exciting news, he'll probably
just be like: oh wow, that's great.
After a while of thinking that maybe he's just not so excited, I finally figured out
he is excited, he just doesn't show it in the same way as me. And that's okay!
I just feel like it would have been helpful to know at the beginning.
Also, going along with this, I wish that I had known that when a German says something
is good, that basically often means the same as when an American says something is great.
So Americans often scale up their adjectives.
For example, if I eat some tasty ice cream, it's amazing.
For Mr. German Man it's nice.
And at first I thought that he was just kind of hard to impress or maybe apathetic about things,
but, yeah, then I finally learned that he also thinks the ice cream is delicious, the
same delicious as me.
But he often reserves words like amazing for things that are, well, a little more impressive.
Whereas I would just add more facial expressions and a few verys to the beginning.
So for me a tasty ice cream is amazing.
But the best ice cream ever is: Oh my God, this is the best ice cream ever!
It's super, super, super amazing.
I just keep getting bigger with my adjectives.
And lastly, I also would have loved to know that Germany, as a whole, is pretty into insurance.
Then I would have much better understood why my German boyfriend seemed so excited about
insurance and so interested in talking about insurance.
Like for me insurance is a necessary thing in life, but it's definitely not something
that I am excited about or I want to talk about.
Insurance is something that I get done with as quickly as possible and that I talk about
in my life for as short a time span as possible.
But this does not seem to be the case for Mr. German Man, and, apparently, also not
the case for some other Germans because I have watched Mr. German Man and his friends
have entire Friday evening conversations about insurance.
The only kinda fun part of the evening was getting to watch all their minds simultaneously
explode when I told them that none of the insurances that they were talking about and
comparing and contrasting even existed in the U.S. Or if they did, nobody that I knew had
ever purchased one of them.
They were just like: What?
They don't exist in America? But...but...but...
So my question for you is: What is your take on these things?
And what's been your experience with this in your own life?
Please let me know in the comments below. Thanks so much for watching.
I really hope that you enjoyed this video.
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Until next time, auf Wiedersehen!
We mean the same thing.
But he starts at okay, whereas I start at great.
So by the time he gets to good, I'm at wonderful.
And when he gets to great, I'm at amazing.
When he's at amazing, I'm at super duper amazing.
If in school I was supposed to critique someone's book reporrrt...port...book report.
So here they are.
Some of the things that I wish I had known about Germans before I started...Mr. German Man.
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