[Ridgewood--Queens]
["New York Close Up"]
["Jamian Juliano-Villani Gets to Work"]
It's a very simple routine:
I come in,
reheat my coffee,
go on the computer, look at stuff,
clean my brushes,
and then I get to work.
I've not had time off since I started, which is crazy.
Once you have a deadline it's like impending doom.
It's like a pimp!
Constantly, like you owe someone something.
Stress assassinates creativity.
If you make a bad painting in your job as an artist,
it's like the worst.
It's mortifying.
It's like having chocolate all over your face or something--
and you're going to some gala.
You're only as good as your last painting--
which sucks--
but, you know, it's kind of the truth.
I was growing up in the middle of nowhere, New Jersey,
and I just wanted to get out of New Jersey and get to New York immediately.
New York is where it seemed like all the artists went to be artists.
["Painters Painting"]
I was watching "Painters Painting"--
Stella and Rauschenberg and blah blah blah,
and they're all in New York, you know--
sitting on ladders, covered in paint.
For me, as a teenager, it was amazing.
"That's..."
"That's it!" You know?
Now, I romanticize it less
because coming to New York and starting to be in the art world thing--
it's insane!
I've had a million shitty jobs.
Overnight shift diner waitress.
I worked at a group home.
Taught gymnastics.
Kindergarten teacher.
I organized books for a marine who was obsessed with ships.
I was commuting back and forth from working at a restaurant in New Jersey
so I could get my first apartment in New York.
I was basically painting on top of my bed,
staying up every other night to paint.
Slowly, I got a slightly bigger room--
and then I got a slightly bigger room.
Three years ago, I actually got my first real studio ever.
That was like Christmas, every day.
--Terrible.
The paintings, I think, are...
They're tricky.
You need to make them better, make them weirder,
make them smarter, make them dumber.
You just paint a snowman in the desert...
That's it? Really?
Like, there's no other step, you know?
It's like some stupid one-liner?
I have a sense of humor and a really light way to approach something.
Just come up with a joke,
and then from there, how can you offset that
so it's like psychological or personal?
It's like ping pong, back and forth, back and forth,
until it's just all these things going like this,
negating itself.
A lot of weird decisions just happen here by myself
in the middle of the night.
But also a lot of it is talking to other people.
If you have all these different voices coming in,
it's less of a one-person lecture.
[Ajay Kurian, Artist]
Across the hall is Ajay,
who is an amazing artist.
Man, he saved my ass so many times with so many shows.
"Uh, can you give me a minute and we could like, um..."
"You could just give me moral support please? Thanks."
--I'm thinking like a very very, super light, pale teal kind of colors.
--Blue, or very very pale purple.
--Purple is probably better?
--Like cool purple.
[KURIAN] --Like lavender, or?
[JULIANO-VILLANI] --Cool ass purple.
[KURIAN] --I could see that.
[JULIANO-VILLANI] --Right.
--Or like a...
[KURIAN] --Is that a vase or a mirror?
[JULIANO-VILLANI] --Who the fuck knows?
--It will be a mirror.
[KURIAN] --Okay.
[JULIANO-VILLANI] --Hmm...
--Fuck.
One of my friends was telling me,
"Just put some crap in there, no one can tell."
I was like, "Thanks, jerk!"
[Inhales sharply]
But I can definitely tell.
Because these are supposed to be confident.
I just turned 30.
I mean, I chainsmoke-- like, you know, a pack and a half a day.
I drink a lot.
My sleeping habits are terrible.
I eat garbage.
This is just a vessel, you know what I mean?
Past couple of years, I had so much stamina
and just kept on working and pumping.
And now, it's like, when it actually matters,
I got to make sure I still have it.
I think the main pressure is maintaining integrity
and making work that you feel good about--
even under pressure, which is really difficult.
I really want to push the paintings--
and I don't know how yet, but hopefully I'll figure it out
and make them something that they aren't yet.
I know I'm going to make some, like,
embarrassing, bad sculptures or videos or something.
But, like, fuck it, I got to do it,
now is the time--
while I have the energy.
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