USA news on Youtube Oct 23 2017

'Oh, I beg your pardon.'

Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.

'This isn't the sort of project I thought we'd have crammed down our throats'

We're looking at the Wild Wild Planet, the film health and safety forgot

Commander Mike Halstead has two problems,

things with his sort of girlfriend Connie are on the rocks.

'Cheers.'

my guess is trouble in the bedroom

'One quick upward thrust, then release'

Everybody wants Connie

'She's 100% woman'

and is keen to keep reminding us

'I'm a woman'

'I like to be treated as a woman.'

'I'm a woman and a woman is obviously different from a man'

'I'm going to accept that holiday as sure as I'm a woman'

This holiday is something she's invited on by smooth talking Mr Nermy

'I was admiring your physique'

But when she arrives, it turns out the hotel is not up to code.

Mike meanwhile has a bigger problem to deal with - an epidemic of bizarre kidnappings,

and I do mean epidemic.

'If it continues, by the end of this week there will be 6000 disappearnaces a day in this city alone'

that seems a lot.

Who's responsible?

'I think I've uncovered something'

'Oh, what?'

'Girls'

A group of women accompanied by strange bald men are kidnapping people

Okay firstly, that was weird

'You will admit that these are most peculiar goings on'

Secondly, they don't exactly blend in.

and given the number of women and strange bald men required to kidnap 6000 people a day,

I feel like someone ought to have made the connection earlier

'That is not humorous commander'

Mike and his team take down one of the bald men.

'No no no it's awful! It's inhuman!'

Well that was too much for her.

They also capture some of the women

'Watch out for the gadgets on their chests'

They're called breasts.

'What are you taking about?'

And it's bad news, Nermy is involved and Connie is missing

'I'm onto you Nermy'

again, you really should have been onto him sooner

'Quite a few people lately have... simply disappeared'

Now we learn the shocking truth about the kidnap victims...

I've sort of raced through the first half because I really couldn't follow what the hell was going on

'I think I could have predicted that'

But in the second, when Mike and friends race to rescue Connie, it becomes James Bond

'Welcome on-board commander'

albeit with a much less engaging hero.

'I'm a person'

Just barely.

We have karate kicking fem-bots

a bad guy who insists on showing the hero round rather than killing him.

'He favored me with a tour of his station, I would like to return the courtesy'

Fast cars

Okay not that fast.

Ineffectual guards

'When I give the word, start swinging at these creeps'

There's no way that plan should work

'Now!'

It actually gets worse

'I'm here'

Oh! amongst the mirrors you've completely vanished!

'Kinda makes me sick to my stomach'

Above all we have a sort of late-era Roger Moore supervillain

with a plan for world domination that defies comprehension

'Miniature people. 20 years we worked to achieve this'

No kidding; 20years?

Time well spent

'These mirrors reflect your image to infinity...

the same way I will achieve the perfect synthesis of the human race etc..which could be duplicated millions of times.'

Okay. I'm not quite making the connection between that and the miniaturisation but I'm sure it'll all come together.

'My flesh will absorb her and we will be fused into one person.'

Again, this really seems like a separate thing.

Three pretty useless experiments, not coming together in an harmonious whole.

'You helium headed idiot you!'

Why did you do this? '

'For the good of humanity'

Absolutely, who hasn't occasionally thought; gee I wish I was a tiny hermaphrodite with infinite reflections.

'Is this the doing of a mad scientist?'

Needless to say, Mike foils this 'plan' and the base is destroyed while he saves...

'We made it!'

Well, there's Connie, and his boss.

'As good an end as any'

It would be if not for the 6000 kidnap victims a day he didn't rescue who now lie in a watery grave.

That's not very James Bond .

'You're unfair, unkind, Uncouth and I just hat the sight of you.'

Okay, that was pretty James Bond.

Thanks for watching people who don't subscribe will be miniaturised by a strange bald man

Can you think of any cinematic plans less coherent than this one?

How would you take over the world let us know your plans for global domination in the comments below?

You've seen nothing you heard nothing, and you know nothing, you understand

For more infomation >> The Wild Wild Planet: Review - Duration: 6:03.

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Tourists struggle to cross glass-bottomed walkway in China | new 24h - Duration: 4:12.

A bridge too far: Terrified tourists struggle to cross China's new glass-bottomed walkway built over a raging river

A scenic spot in China has unveiled a new glass-bottomed bridge over a notoriously fast-flowing river.

Tourists have apparently struggled to cross the 328-metre-long (1,076 feet) structure as they saw the Yellow River gushing right under their feet.

Part of the terrifying walkway has 3D art on the floor, including that of a huge waterfall, as the management hopes to provide daredevil visitors with the ultimate adrenaline rush.

Located in north-west Chinas Zhongwei City in Ningxia Province, the new Shapotou Suspension Bridge was opened to the public on July 31.

Its said to be the first glass-bottomed bridge over the Yellow River, the second longest river in China after the Yangtze River.

The original bridge was built in 2014 and was covered with wooden planks, reported Peoples Daily Online.

A video clip on the China Global Television Network shows a woman seemed to be so petrified she had to crawl on the glass floor.

The management of the scenic spot said they started re-paving the bridge with glass panels last year after realising transparent footpaths had got extremely popular around the country.

After the renovation, around two-thirds of the bridge has glass flooring while the rest is still wooden.

Three 3D paintings have been put over the floor, covering some of the glass bridge. .

And with the help of the dramatic art, tourists could have pictures taken of them from certain angles, which apparently show them standing over a huge waterfall.

The bridge is 2. 6 metres (8.

5 feet) wide and is suspended 10 metres (33 feet) over the Yellow River.

According to a spokesperson, 300 people are allowed to stand on the bridge at any one time.

Each glass panel is said to be capable of supporting a maximum weight of three tonnes.

Glass-bottomed bridges and footpaths have popped up in different parts of China in the past two years or so, generating great interest among tourists.

Recently, one scenic spot in northern China has deliberately made the see-through panels on its glass-bottomed bridge crack.

Located at over 3,800 feet high on the East Taihang Mountain, the glass bridge would appear to shatter as the tourists walk on them - thanks to sensors and special effects.

Not every one knew it was a trick though.

Footage emerged earlier this month showed one terrified tour guide wobbling and crawling on the walkway as soon as he sees cracks on the floor.

For more infomation >> Tourists struggle to cross glass-bottomed walkway in China | new 24h - Duration: 4:12.

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Wife's hilarious bicep cake fail for husband in Newcastle | news 24h - Duration: 3:13.

Wife orders £50 bicep-shaped bake for bodybuilder husband's birthday but ends up with an epic cake fail that looks more like a FOETUS

Baking a cake at home is a risky business depending on your skill level but you should be safe if you order one from a professional baker.

Thats what Sharon Bijin, of Lemington, Newcastle, thought when she ordered a bicep-shaped bake for her bodybuilder husband Jay - but she was proved very, very wrong.

The cake the 44-year-old received looked nothing like the muscular arm-shaped treat she had wanted to present her partner with for his 32nd birthday.

Instead, her friend Nicola Keegan, who posted on her public Facebook page about the hilarious cake fail, said it looked more like a foetus.

Sharon paid £50 for a cake maker on Facebook to make her a copy of a muscly arm-shaped cake that she had seen online.

Her husband Jay is a competitive bodybuilder, so the ripped bicep-shaped bake would have been the perfect present.

However when she received the cake, it looked more like a worm or an unborn child, without any muscular definition or shape - despite the baker having good reviews online.

Even worse, Sharon was still charged for the bake - and when she tried to contact the baker, the unknown woman blocked her on Facebook and removed her account when Sharons friends tried to contact her.

Sharon told the Daily Record: It was meant to look like a bodybuilders arm.

The woman told me she could make it look even better [than the one I saw online.

She added: When I went to collect it she said not to open it as it was raining but when I got home and saw it I was pretty shocked, everyone thinks it looks like a cashew nut or an alien.

I went to contact her but shed blocked me on Facebook and then she entirely removed her account when I tried to get friends to find her.

Luckily, Sharon has now managed to see the funny side.

She said: Initially I was angry as its a lot of money and I only work part-time but now I cant stop laughing.